Jimi Hendrix headlined and closed the Woodstock Festival starting at 9 a.m. on Monday, August 18, 1969.  Most of the 400,000+ crowd had left and he played to less than 180,000 people.  Bad weather and logistical problems delayed his two hour set, the longest of his career.  The performance was plagued with technical difficulties such as microphone levels and guitar tuning problems.  It was not his best performance, but it is nonetheless great, a historical milestone. 

Sixteen movie cameras from Warner Bros. captured his image and his long-time studio engineer/producer, Eddie Kramer, handled the audio recording.  Jimi played with a new band he had assembled called "Electric Sky Church" or the "Gypsy Sun and Rainbow Band", usually abbreviated to "Band of Gypsies".  It featured Mitch Mitchell on drums, Juma Sultan on percussion, Jerry Velez on congas, Larry Lee on rhythm guitar, and his army buddy Billy Cox on bass.

The songs performed as listed on the 2005 2 DVD set are:
01. Message To Love
02. Spanish Castle Magic
03. Red House
04. Lover Man
05. Foxey Lady
06. Jam Back At The House
07. Izabella
08. Fire
09. Voodoo Child (Slight Return)
10. Star Spangled Banner
11. Purple Haze
12. Woodstock Improvisation
13. Villanova Junction
14. Hey Joe
15. The Road To Woodstock:  New documentary directed by Bob Smeaton featuring new interviews with Hendrix band members Mitch Mitchell, Billy Cox, Juma Sultan, and Larry Lee, engineer Eddie Kramer, and Woodstock promoter Michael Lang among others.
16. Jimi Hendrix Press Conference:  Color film footage of never before seen Jimi Hendrix press conference held September 3, 1969 at Frank's Restaurant in Harlem.  Hendrix answers questions about his Woodstock festival performance, his rendition of the "Star Spangled Banner" and the festival's cultural impact.

With the exceptions of Mitch Mitchell and Billy Cox, the other musicians were not good enough, had not rehearsed sufficiently, and sometimes couldn't keep up with him.  But for a colossus like Jimi Hendrix it doesn't really matter.  He was magnificent!   "Band of Gypsies"?  During his three years as a Superstar, Jimi Hendrix never had a home.  He was a genuine counter-culture hippie.

The end of his set ended the original WOODSTOCK (1970) movie.  In 1994 the "Director's Cut" was released with 40 minutes added, including more Hendrix.  1994 also brought JIMI HENDRIX AT WOODSTOCK, a 57 minute video of his performance.  Then a video of the entire performance was released in 2005.

Jimi Hendrix is by far the greatest electric guitarist in history.  You may prefer Eric Clapton or Jeff Beck.  However, both these guitar players knew and played with Hendrix--and they both have said frequently that Hendrix is the best, in a league of his own.

What made this genius the best?  He was a virtuoso who could play the guitar behind his back, with his teeth, and with one hand better than Clapton and Beck or the other guitar heroes who just play boring blues licks.  Jimi invented his own musical vocabulary and his own style.  His unique guitar sound was totally unprecedented.  He was a showman who danced as he played.  And he sang his own first-rate songs, that are very personal.

Jimi Hendrix said about Woodstock:  "It was a success for the simple fact that it was one of the largest gatherings of people, in a musical sense.  It was a complete success compared to all the other festivals.  I'd like everybody to see this, how everybody mixes together.  It spreads harmony and communication.  There was no violence at all out there.  Nobody could expect this through a mixed group, the idea of non-violence, and the idea of let everbody in free.  And the idea of people really listening to music over the sky in such a large body."

More quotes from Jimi Hendrix:

"Festivals shouldn't worry about getting so many people.  It's a big ego trip now.  They didn't do all that kind of mess with Monterey."
"Imagination is the key to my lyrics.  The rest is painted with a little science fiction."
"My goal is to be one with the music.   I just dedicate my whole life to this art."
"If I'm free it's because I am always running."
"Music makes me high on stage, and that's the truth.  It's like being almost addicted to music."
"Blues is easy to play, but hard to feel."
"I just hate to be in one corner.  I hate to be put as only a guitar player, or either only as a songwriter, or only as a tap dancer.  I like to move around."
"Music doesn't lie.  If there is something to be changed in this world, then it can only happen through music." 
"I'm the one that has to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life, the way I want to."
"Once you're dead you're made for life."
"When I die, I want people to play my music, go wild and freak out and do anything they want to do."
"When I die, just keep playing the records."

The Fab Four's first movie A HARD DAYS NIGHT (1964) was such a smashing success that they made HELP! the next year with the same director, Richard Lester.  It's not considered quite as good, but I prefer it because it's in colour.  The Beatles were disappointed because they felt like extras in their own movie.

A Hindu sect in India attempts to sacrifice a woman to the god Kali, the equivalent of the Grim Reaper.  The sacrifice cannot be completed without a ruby ring stuck on Ringo Starr's finger.  Evil Maharajah Clang (Leo McKern) and his followers in the sect chase the Beatles around the world in an attempt to obtain the ring.  Clang says, "Without the ring, there is no sacrifice, without the sacrifice there is no congregation, without the congregation there'll be no more me."  Ringo asks, "Look John, I've had some great good times with this finger, and how do you know I wouldn't miss it?"

(Ringo's hand is trapped in the sandwich dispenser)
Ringo: "Hey someone's got hold of me finger!"
John:  "Are you trying to attract attention again?"
(to Ringo whose arm is trapped inside a mail box)
John:  "What are you doing?"
Ringo: "Posting a letter."
(John and Paul try to get Ringo to cut his finger off)
Paul:   "You don't miss your tonsils, do yer?"
(a failed attempt to steal Ringo's ring)
Ringo: "Hey!  Have you been messing about with me in my kip?"
John:  "Eh?"
Ringo: "No, I mean, you know, with a fishing rod."
John:  "I wouldn't touch it with a plastic one.  What are you doing on the floor?"
Ringo: "I'm tired."
 
Supt.:  "Oh come on now lads, don't be windy, where's that famous pluck?"
John:   "I haven't got any, have you George?"
George: "Did have."
Paul:    "I have had."
Ringo:  "I will have! Lead on!"

(In disguise at the airport.  Newspapers have discovered their destination)
Ringo:   "Okay, who let it out."
John:    "Nobody'll know."
Paul:    "We're not going there."
John:    "We just put it about we're going there."
Paul:    "We're not going there!"
John:    "We just put it about we're going there!"
George: "Just so everybody would think we're going there?"
Ringo:   "I'd like to go there."
John:    "You wouldn't like it."
Ringo:   "Where are we going anyway?"
John:    "Never you mind."

There are side-trips to the Alps, a battlefield, Buckingham Palace, and The Bahamas.  Mad Professor Foot (Victor Spinetti) and his assistant Algernon (Roy Kinnear) also want the ring.  Prof. Foot says, "With a ring like that I could--dare I say it?--rule the world."  In the end, when Ringo is about to be sacrificed, the ring finally comes off.  Ringo puts the ring on Clang, and his followers attempt to sacrifice him.  

With a bigger budget for this movie, there is good location filming.  First they filmed in the Bahamas, then the Alps, and finally in London, Salisbury Plain and at Twickenham Film Studios in England.  The Beatles said the film was inspired by the Marx Brothers' DUCK SOUP (1933), and it is also a satire of the James Bond series of films.  As well, it does resemble the GOON SHOW.  

HELP! is a fast, frenetic and funny farce that sometimes tries too hard to be humourous.  There are lots of wild and silly gags in this inventive and rambling follow-up.  The absurdity and fast pacing led George Harrison to believe that Monty Python was a natural progression from the Beatles.  Harrison also admitted that the Beatles smoked marijuana on the the plane trip all the way to the Bahamas.

An instrumental version of "A Hard Day's Night" can be heard throughout the movie.  The other songs the Beatles sing are:  "Ticket to Ride", "Another Girl", "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away", "Help!", "You're Gonna Lose That girl", "The Night Before", "I Need you", and "She's a Woman".  The soundtrack album is the Beatles' fifth album with two 1 hit singles:  the title song and "Ticket to Ride".  The album contains seven other songs:  "Act Natually", "It's Only Love", "You Like Me Too Much", "Tell Me What You See", "I've Just Seen a Face", "Yesterday", and "Dizzy Miss Lizzy".  "If You've Got Trouble", "That Means a Lot", and "Yes It Is" were recorded but not included.  "Yesterday" is the most recorded song in history.        

The cast also includes:  John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, Ringo Starr, Eleanor Bron (Ahme), John Bluthal (Bhuta), Patrick Cargill (Superintendent), Alfie Bass (Doorman), Warren Mitchell (Abdul), Peter Copley (Jeweller), Bruce Lace (Lawnmower), Deborah DeLacey (High Priestess), Zienia Merton (Marie-Lise), and many others.  The script is by Marc Behm and Charles Wood.  Incidental music is by Paul McCartney and Ken Thorne.  Richard Lester directed.        

The business reason for the movies was to provide soundtrack albums of Beatles songs.  Despite his reputation, Brian Epstein was a pathetic manager when he signed a record deal.  The Beatles were screwed for royalties.  However, the contract did not include movie soundtrack records and this is where the Beatles were able to make lots of money with appropriate royalties.

John Lennon said:  "The movie was out of our control.  With A HARD DAY'S NIGHT, we had a lot of input, and it was semi-realistic.  But with HELP!, Dick Lester didn't tell us what it was all about.  I realize, looking back, how advanced it was.  It was a precursor for the BATMAN 'Pow! Wow!' on TV--that kind of stuff.  But he never explained it to us.  Partly, maybe, because we hadn't spent a lot of time together between A HARD DAY'S NIGHT and HELP!, and partly because we were smoking marijuana for breakfast during that period.  Nobody could communicate with us, it was all glazed eyes and giggling all the time.  In our own world.  It's like doing nothing most of the time, but still having to rise at 7 am, so we became bored."

Paul McCartney said:  "We showed up a bit stoned, smiled a lot and hoped we'd get through it.  We giggled a lot.  I remember one time at Cliveden (Lord Astor's place, where the Christine Keeler/Profumo scandal went on); we were filming the Buckingham Palace scene where we were all supposed to have our hands up.  It was after lunch, which was fatal because someone might have brought out a glass of wine as well.  We were all a bit merry and all had our backs to the camera and the giggles set in.  All we had to do was turn around and look amazed, or something. But every time we'd turn round to the camera there were tears streaming down our faces.  It's OK to get the giggles anywhere else but in films, because the technicians get pissed off with you. They think,  'They're not very professional.'  Then you start thinking: This isn't very professional--but we're having a great laugh."

The original title for HELP! was "Eight Arms To Hold You".  India is never explicitly mentioned in the film; "Eastern" is used instead.  For example, Professor Foot cannot read a label because it is "written in Eastern".  Probably the Beatles did not make any more similar movies because THE MONKEES (1966-1968) TV show and their HEAD (1968) movie were essentially the same thing, but superior because the Monkees could act.  The Beatles were great musicians but not good actors.

Other Beatles movies followed, but they are not very good.  MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR (1967) is basically Paul McCartney's home movie, and even Queen Elizabeth expressed her disappointment when it was shown on TV.  It has its moments and some very good songs, but is a poor production overall.  It was conceived as a way for the Beatles to do something fun and exciting after manager Brian Epstein's death.  The Beatles were in financial trouble and had to spend their wealth or else the British government would tax them into poverty.  So they started Apple Corps. and MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR was the first project they made under the Apple company.  Paul McCartney directed the bulk of the footage, and John Lennon probably directed "I am the Walrus" and the segment with Ringo's Aunt eating a large pile of spaghetti.  George Harrison probably directed "Blue Jay Way".  Musical numbers are quite good and the production of "Your Mother Should Know" with a dance segment of the Beatles coming down a grand staircase in white tuxedos is excellent.  The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band perform "Death Cab For Cutie".

Mrs. Starkey: "Now shut up!"
Ringo:           "Shut up--to me?  I've had enough of it!  I can't stand it any more!  I'm gettin' off!  Off!"
Mrs. Starkey: "Don't get historical!"

YELLOW SUBMARINE (1968) is an animated psychedelic rip-off of Peter Max.  The Beatles had very little to do with it, and agreed to it only to complete a movie contract.  They did not like the Beatles cartoon TV series.  Most songs are older ones, although the Fab Four did supply a few "rejects" and inferior new songs.  They do make a brief appearance at the very end, because they were impressed by the finished product.  I don't like animation and the over-the-top psychedelia is too much. The Beatles' voices are dubbed in by sound-alike actors.

LET IT BE (1970) is a documentary that shows the Beatles breaking up, obviously because of John Lennon's morbid infatuation with Yoko Ono.  Paul McCartney tries to take control of the situation.  This was so boring for me that only the loud music kept me from falling asleep.

Paul:    (to George) "I'm not trying to get you.  But I really am trying to just say:  Look, lads- the band, you know.  Shall we... try it like this, you know?"
George: (to Paul)  "Yeah, okay, well, I don't mind.  I'll play, you know, whatever you want me to play.  Or I won't play at all if you don't want me to play, you know.  Whatever it is that'll please you, I'll do it."
John:    "I'd like to say thank you on behalf of the group and ourselves, and I hope we pass the audition."

Chad Gates (Elvis Presley) returns to Honolulu after his discharge from the army.  He is unsure of his future plans but does not want to join the family pineapple business, despite pressure from his mother, Sarah Lee Gates (Angela Lansbury) and father, Fred (Roland Winters).  Instead he takes a job as a tour guide and his first assignment is a group of four teenage girls and their teacher, Abigail Prentice (Nancy Walters).  One of the girls is quite nasty and manages to have Chad fired.  His parents disapprove of his girlfriend, Maile Duval (Joan Blackman), and Chad leaves the house.
 
Chad tells his parents, "I like my job, mum.  It's fun, it's interesting and I meet a lot of nice people."  Sarah Lee Gates replies, "Nonsense.  Tourists aren't people. They're... they're tourists."..."Chad think of who you are, remember you come from a fine family." 
Chad:   "I'm sure you'll do enough remembering for both of us."
Sarah:  "Oh daddy, what did we do wrong?"
Fred:    "Offhand I'd say we got married."

Chad:  "Are you always so bored or is it me?
Ellie:    "Life is a bore I always say."
Chad:  "Oh, always."
Ellie:    "I've had 17 years of it."
Chad:  "I think you're a mixed-up kid that's too big for her breeches.
Ellie:    "I don't wear breeches."
Chad:  "You're getting out of here right now, Miss No-Breeches Bardot."
Ellie:    "Chad, do you think I'm pretty?"
Chad:  "I think you're pretty forward and pretty stupid."
Ellie:    "Wouldn't you rather hold me than Abigail?"
Chad:  "I'd like to hold you over a barbecue pit.  Back to your room!"
Ellie:    "I couldn't sleep there."
Chad:  "Well you sure can't sleep here.  Perhaps you should take a bath.  On second thought make that a cold shower." 

(Chad gives Maile a bikini]
Maile:   "I thank you for thinking of me."
Chad :  "Oh I wasn't thinking of you, I was thinking of me.  You wanna know something--on you, wet is my favourite colour."
Maile:   "My French blood tells me to argue with you and my Hawaiian blood tells me not to mind.  They're battling it out in front of me.
Chad:   "I've never seen such a beautiful battleground."
Maile:   "You're pretty sure of yourself."
Chad:   "Isn't it about time?"
 
Abigail hires Chad to take the group to Kauai.  There are many complicated situations involving love and misunderstanding, but eventually Chad and Maile get married with "Hawaiian Wedding Song" ending the movie.

Also in the cast are:  Jenny Maxwell (Ellie Corbett). Pamela  Austin (Selena "Sandy" Emerson), Darlene Tompkins (Patsy Simon), Christian Kay (Beverly Martin), John Archer (Jack Kelman), Howard McNear (Mr. Chapman), Steve Brodie (Tucker Garvey), Iris Adrian (Enid Garvey), Hilo Hattie (Waihila), Lani Kai (Carl Tanami), George DeNormand (Gen. Anthony), Gregory Gaye (Paul Duval), Clarence Lung (Lonnie), Michael Ross (Lt. Gray), and many others.  Writing credits are Allan Weiss and Hal Kanter.  Original music is by Joseph J. Lilley.  Norman Taurog directed.           

BLUE HAWAII is one of Elvis Presley's most successful films.  Elvis fans love it, and it also appeals to viewers who enjoy glamorous locations, and beautiful scenery.  It's like taking a tropical vacation without the inconvenience and horror of modern airport security. 

Much of the film was shot on location at Coco Palm Resort on the east shore of Kauai.  Elvis visited the resort often, always staying in cottage 56.  The rest was shot on Oahu.  Filming began on March 27, 1961 and ended April 17.  BLUE HAWAII also marks a distinct transformation in Elvis' personal and public persona.  Previously he was a conservative family man groomed as a star.  After this film he became a Las Vegas playboy, and his movies degenerated into mostly inferior "Elvis Movie" products with the same formula.       

The soundtrack album for BLUE HAWAII spent 20 weeks at 1 on the Billboard Top LP's chart in 1961-1962 and stayed on the charts for 79 weeks.  This was Elvis' most commercially successful LP and one of the most successful LPs of all time.  It was not surpassed until 1977, with the release of Fleetwood Mac's "Rumors" album.  Fourteen songs are on the soundtrack, more than any other Elvis film.  "Blue Hawaii" and "Can't help falling in Love" were hit singles and Elvis' schlocky "Rock-A-Hula Baby" sold over a million copies. 

Songs were recorded on three-track tape at Radio Recorders in Hollywood from March 21 to 23 in 1961.  Personnel:  Elvis Presley (vocals); Scotty Moore, Hank Garland, Tiny Timbrell (guitar); Alvino Rey (steel guitar); Fred Tavares, Bernie Lewis (ukelele), George Fields (harmonica); Boots Randolph (saxophone); Floyd Cramer (piano); Dudley Brooks (piano & celeste); Bob Moore (bass); D.J. Fontana, Hal Blaine, Bernie Mattison (drums); plus the Jordanaires and The Surfers (background vocals).

Elvis sings 15 songs.  "Blue Hawaii" was originally written for Bing Crosby in 1937 by Leo Robin and Ralph Rainger.  The nicest song, "Can't Help Falling In Love", was written for the film by George Weiss, Hugo Peretti, and Luigi Creatore.  The other songs are:  "Hawaiian Sunset", "Hawaiian Wedding Song", "Island Of Love", "Ito Eats", "Ku-u-i-po", "Moonlight Swim", "No More", "Rock-a-Hula Baby", "Slicin' Sand", "Steppin' Out Of Line", "Almost Always True", "Aloha Oe", and "Beach Boy Blues".   

Lucky Jackson (Elvis Presley) is a race car driver and singer who goes to Las Vegas to compete in the Las Vegas Grand Prix.  His car needs a new motor and the money to pay for it is lost in a swimming pool.

Jackson takes a job in a Casino and romances Rusty Martin (Ann-Margret), a cabaret dancer who turns out to be his rival in the hotel's employee talent contest.  The on-screen chemistry between Elvis and Ann-Margret is hot, probably because they were having a real life affair at the time. This romantic musical is perked up by the glitz of Las Vegas and the exciting action of the racing scenes.  The other actors, such as Cesare Danova (as Count Elmo Mancini), are quite good.

Lucky:  "Good morning, I've been looking for you all night."
Rusty:  "You must be desperate to find a model that really needs fixing."
Lucky:  "It's what I call a real sport model."
Rusty:  "Can you lend me a car until you get mine running again?"
Lucky:  "We'll do better than that - I'll be happy to drive you wherever you want to go."
Rusty:  "And why should you go to all that bother?"
Lucky:  "Cause around here I'm known as your very bothering mechanic."
Rusty:  "I'm sure you are."

Lucky:   "Oh now I get it, you want me to use my bravado to block for you so you can... come right through."
Mancini: "That's right, I knew you were clever Mr Jackson."
Lucky:   "Well just a couple or three things wrong with your proposition.  I don't work for anybody, I never come second to anybody, and one small thing:  I intend to win."
Mancini: "What difference does it make?  Unfortunately you are on your way to Los Angeles and I have to work on my car, therefore we have no time for a beautiful girl."
Lucky:   "I guess you're right."
Mancini: "You work on my car, I'll work on your girl."

Also in the cast are:  William Demarest (Mr. Martin), Nicky Blair (Shorty Fansworth), Roy Engel (Mr. Baker), Francis Ravel (Francois), Robert Willams (Swanson), Jack Carter (himself), Bob Nash (Gus Olson), Forte Four (themselves), Robert Aiken, Holly Bane, Larry Barton, John Burnside, Carl Carlson, Ruth Carlson, Regina Carrol, Taggart Casey, George Cisar, Howard Curtis, Harry Fleer, Alan Fordney, Teri Garr, Barnaby Hale, Claude Hall, John Hart, Connie Hermida, Larry Kent, Lance LeGault, Rick Murray, Kay Sutton, Red West, and many others.  Sally Benson wrote the script.  George Sidney directed.                
 
VIVA LAS VEGAS  is one of the best Elvis Presley movies and the most successful.  Between 1961 and 1969 Elvis made 2 or 3 formula movies per year, and most aren't considered very good.  Except for JAILHOUSE ROCK (1957), VIVA LAS VEGAS is the only other bona fide Elvis Musical.  The songs actually advance the plot, instead of just padding the movie as they do in his other films.     

With very few exceptions, songs in Elvis movies are crap compared to his recorded music in the 1950's.  This tends to be true for most film musicals, but in Elvis' case I suspect that inferior songs were chosen by manager Colonel Parker in business deals that ripped off songwriters to financially benefit Elvis.

"Viva Las Vegas" is the best song in the movie, and is used several times.  When Elvis sings the title song, the entire performance is filmed live in one uncut take.  No other major Hollywood musical can make this claim.  Soundtrack songs were recorded in July of 1963 at Radio Recorders in Hollywood.  Personnel:  Elvis Presley (vocals); Ann-Margret (vocals); Scotty Moore, Tiny Timbrell, Billy Strange, Glen Campbell, Alton Hendrickson (guitar); Bob Moore, Ray Siegal (bass); Floyd Cramer, Artie Cane, Calvin Jackson (piano); Oliver Mitchell, James Zito (trumpets); Boots Randolph, William Green, Steve Douglas (sax); Randall Miller, Herb Taylor (trombones); D.J. Fontana, Buddy Harman, Frank Carlson (drums); Roy Hart (percussion; The Jordanaires, The Jubilee Quartet, The Carol Lombard Quartet (background vocals).   

The other songs are:  "The Lady Loves Me", "What'd I Say?", "I Need Somebody to Lean on Me", "C'mon, Everybody", "Today, Tomorrow, and Forever", "If You Think I Don't Need You", "Yellow Rose of Texas/The Eyes of Texas", and "Santa Lucia". "The Climb" is performed by The Forte Four.  Ann-Margret sings "My Rival" and "Appreciation" and duets with Elvis on "The Lady Loves Me".  The only recordings released with the film were the theme song and "What'd I Say?" as singles, plus a few songs on an EP.  Additional songs recorded for the film would appear in later album compilations, but the complete soundtrack has never been available.

Three songs, "Night Life", "Do The Vega" and "You're The Boss", were recorded for the film but never used.  "You're The Boss" is a duet by Elvis and Ann-Margret.  Some of the songs were originally Elvis/Ann-Margret duets, but Colonel Parker removed the Ann-Margret tracks because Elvis is the star.  The duet versions are now available on CD.

VIVA LAS VEGAS  took 11 weeks to shoot.  It cost less than $1 million to make, and brought in over $5 million.  The working title was "The Only Girl in Town" and in some countries it is called "Love in Las Vegas".

In 1958 Conrad Birdie (Jesse Pearson) a rock'n'roll superstar similar to Elvis Presley is drafted into the army. His agent and songwriter Albert F. Peterson (Dick van Dyke) wants one last hit record with lots of publicity before Conrad is sent to the army. He plans to have Conrad sing "One Last Kiss" live on the ED SULLIVAN TV show and give one lucky girl from his fan club a kiss on TV.

The fan chosen at random is Kim McAfee (Ann-Margret) of Sweet Apple, Ohio. Conrad and Albert visit the small town and turn several lives upside down. Kim's father Harry (Paul Lynde) becomes obsessed, her boyfriend Hugo Peabody (Bobby Rydell) becomes jealous, and Conrad tires of show business and teaches the kids how to party, which gets him in trouble with the law. Complications arise when everyone, including Albert's clinging mother Mama Mae Peterson (Maureen Stapleton) and his girlfriend Rosie DeLeon (Janet Leigh) descend on Sweet Apple.

Harry McAfee says:  "No matter how many millions I make selling Speed-up, I'll still be the same humble, lovable guy I always was.  And if any of those hicks try to push me around, I'll break 'em... The next time I have a daughter, I hope it's a boy!"  Randolph McAfee (Bryan Russel) says, "I respect ya, Papa."  Harry replies, "I don't want your respect.  Who wants respect from a ten-year old?"

Harry:  "I know that showbiz type.  I never told you this, but one summer I worked with the circus... all those midgets... wild!  They're probably livin' in sin."
Doris:  "Harry Lionel McAfee!"
Harry:  "They've been engaged for six years.  Don't tell me they haven't..."
Doris:  "We were engaged for five years."
Harry:  "He's not as stupid as I was."

Doris McAfee:  "You know these adolescents.  Kim'll lose face."
Harry McAfee:  "And if I don't get him out that's not all she'll..."
(Conrad Birdie opens a can of beer, which sprays on Mr. McAfee)
Harry McAfee:  "That's my favorite brand."
Kim McAfee:    "Harry, do you have a cigarette?  I've run out."
Harry McAfee:  "So have I.  How about my pipe?"

Rose DeLeon: "Well we could sure use the money.  Any day now we'll have another mouth to feed."
Ed Sullivan:    "Rosie, you're not even married."
Rose DeLeon: "His mother!"

Mae Peterson:    "Now, don't try to pay me back, son.  I forgive you.  So what if you're an ingrate?  So long as you're happy."
Albert Peterson: "I don't wanna be happy."
Mae Peterson:    (sings)  "Kids!  Never once appreciate how I sacrificed.  Working, slaving, scrimping, saving pennies... and livin' with your father!"
Albert Peterson: (sings)  "Oh one last kiss... there never was such bliss... I love your dentifrice!"
Mae Peterson:    "Goodbye, Rosie."
Rose DeLeon:     "Goodbye, Mae."
Mae Peterson:    "Call me Mrs. Peterson." 
 
BYE BYE BIRDIE is the movie version of the Broadway musical satire first performed in New York City's Martin Beck Theatre on April 14, 1960. Dick van Dyke and Paul Lynde were also in the cast. The film changes the stage version somewhat, most notably by removing the satire. Nonetheless, it is pleasant, inventive, noisy, exuberant, frenetic, but dated and hard to follow. It has little reverence for popular culture, rock'n'roll, or family values.

Ann-Margret's knockout performance made her a star, paving the way for her to co-star with the real Elvis in VIVA LAS VEGAS (1964). Ed Sullivan makes a substantial guest appearance. Some viewers praise the film as classic 1960's camp, while others disapprove of the changes to the original play. It's a little corny, but has great style, lots of laughs, plus good singing, dancing, and choreography.

Others in the cast include: Mary LaRoche (Doris McAfee), Michael Evans (Claude Paisley), Robert Paige (Bob Precht), Gregory Morton (Maestro Borov), Milton Frome (Mr. Maude), Frandk Alberton (Sam), Trudi Ames (Ursula), Cyril Delevanti (Mr. Nebbitt), Gil Lamb (Lanky Shriner), Hazel Shermet (Marge), and many others. Michael Stewart wrote the play and Irving Brecher wrote the screenplay. Charles Strouse wrote the music and Lee Adams wrote the lyrics. George Sidney directed.

Only 11 of the 16 stageplay songs are used in the movie. The songs are: "The Telephone Hour", "Put On a Happy Face", "Kids", "Bye Bye Birdie", "How Lovely To Be a Woman", "One Boy", "Honestly Sincere", "Hymn for a Sunday Evening", "One Last Kiss", "A Lot of Living to Do", "Rosie", and "The Shriner's Ballet".

BYE BYE BIRDIE (1995) is a TV movie adaptation starring Jason Alexander as Albert Peterson, Vanessa Williams as Rose Alvarez, Marc Kudisch as Conrad Birdie, and Chynna Phillips as Kim MacAfee. Performances are good, although this version is not quite as good as the original. It stays close to the stageplay, which is problematic because a movie is not a play. And director Gene Saks often comments on the 1950's and 60's in general, rather than what's in the script. Rosie DeLeon is called Rose Alvarez as in the play, and McAfee is likewise MacAfee. Three mediocre songs are added: "Let's Settle Down", "A Mother Doesn't Matter Anymore", and "A Giant Step".

Tommy Walker (Roger Daltry) is a young child who accidentally witnesses the murder of his father Captain Walker (Robert Powell) by his stepfather Frank Hobbs (Oliver Reed).  His mother Nora (Ann-Margret) tells him to forget everything he has seen and heard and never talk about it.  This causes Tommy to be deaf, dumb and blind.

Some bizarre cures are tried but fail.  A preacher (Eric Clapton) mistakenly believes Marilyn Monroe can heal him, and the Acid Queen (Tina Turner) also fails with her drugs.  Cousin Kevin (Paul Nicholas) tortures him and Uncle Ernie (Keith Moon) molests him.   Tommy suffers much growing up but finds solace in pinball games.  When he defeats the Pinball Wizard (Elton John), he becomes the world pinball champion, rich and famous.  Then a doctor advises a shock as a cure.  The shock from breaking a mirror works, and Tommy believes he is the new messiah.  A religious cult is formed, but his followers begin commercializing his fame.  When Tommy objects, his supporters accuse him of hypocrisy and turn on him.

Nora Walker Hobbs:  "Today it rained Champagne!  A son was born again!  A genius untamed!  A life of wealth and fame, wealth and fame!  Champagne flowing down just like rain, Caviar breakfasts every day.  Merchant banks and yachts at Cannes!  Servants and cars and private sand...But what's it all worth?  What's it all worth when my son is blind?  He can't hear the music nor enjoy what I'm buying.  His life is worthless, affecting mine.  I'd pay any price to drive his plight from my mind!"

Acid Queen:  "If your child ain't all he should be now, This girl will put him right.  I'll show him what he could be now, Just give me one more night!  I'm the Gypsy, the Acid Queen, Pay me before I start.  I'm the Gypsy, I'm guaranteed To tear his soul apart." 

The Pinball Wizard:  "Ever since I was a young boy, I've played the silver ball.  From Soho down to Brighton, I must have played them all.  But I ain't seen nothin' like him In any amusement hall.  That deaf, dumb and blind kid Sure plays a mean pinball." 

Tommy:  "See me, feel me, touch me, heal me...Listening to you I get the music, Gazing at you.  I get the heat, Following you.  I climb the mountain, I get excitement at your feet!  Right behind you, I see the millions, On you.  I see the glory, From you.  I get opinions, From you.  I get the story."
"See Me Feel Me" Peter Townshend c 1970 Fabulous Music Ltd.

The cast also includes:   Jack Nicholson (the Specialist), Peter Towshend (himself), John Entwistle (himself), Arthur Brown (the Priest), Victoria Russel (Sally Simpson), Ben Aris (Reverend Simpson), Gary Rich (rock musician), Dick Allan (President Black Angels), Barry Winch (young Tommy), Eddie Stacey (Bovver Boy), Ken Russel (cripple), and many others, with lots of cameos--including John Lennon.  Ken Russel directed and wrote the script based on Peter Townshend's rock opera.

Peter Townshend wrote the original rock opera in 1969.  The songs are:   "Prologue 1945", "Captain Walker", "It's a Boy", "Bernie's Holiday Camp", "1951/What About the Boy", "Amazing Journey", "Christmas", "Eyesight to the Blind", "Acid Queen", "Do You Think It's Alright? (1)", "Cousin Kevin", "Do You Think It's Alright? (2)", "Fiddle About", "Do You Think It's Alright? (3)", "Sparks", "Extra, Extra, Extra", Pinball Wizard", "Champagne", "There's a Doctor", Go to the Mirror", "Tommy Can You Hear Me", "Smash the Mirror", "I'm Free", "Mother and Son", "Miracle Cure", "Sally Simpson", "Sensation", "Welcome", "TV Studio", Tommy's Holiday Camp", "We're Not Going To Take It", and "Listening to You/See Me, Feel Me".

Actors sing the songs.  The Who's brilliant concept album is never dubbed in over the film.  Furthermore, Ken Russel elevates Peter Townshend's rock opera masterpiece to Grand Opera, which means there is no spoken dialogue.  In this regard, the movie is absolutely magnificent.  It is extremely difficult to write good songs that also advance the plot, and TOMMY has only good songs, five that are first-rate platinum hits. 

Ken Russel is infamous for his flamboyant, garish, and weird cinematic style.  He is an appropriate director for TOMMY.  His penchant for bad taste and a barrage of startling images compliment the movie.  There is some miscasting and poorly-conceived production concepts, but the film is a clamorous and energetic success, a classic.  Eric Clapton, Elton John, and Tina Turner give outstanding musical performances.  Bravo! 

David St. Hubbins (Michael McKean) and Nigel Tufnel (Christopher Guest) were childhood friends in the early 1960's who had a rock band called "The Originals", which they changed to "The New Originals" and then to "The Thamesmen".  They had a hit record "Gimme Some Money".

During the psychedelic craze they changed the name again to "Spinal Tap" and had another hit, "Listen To The Flower People".  Derek Smalls (Harry Shearer) joined as bass player to compliment Nigel on lead guitar, David on vocals and lead guitar, and Viv Savage (David Kaff) on keyboards.  They had a number of drummers who died under strange circumstances.  One died of spontaneous human combustion and another choked on vomit, although it was somebody else's vomit.

Marty:  "Now, during the Flower People period, who was your drummer?"
David:  "Stumpy's replacement, Peter James Bond.  He also died in mysterious circumstances. We were playing a, uh..."
Nigel:   "...Festival."
David:  "Jazz blues festival.  Where was that?"
Nigel:   "Blues jazz, really."
Derek:  "Blues jazz festival.  Misnamed."
Nigel:   "It was in the Isle of, uh..."
David:  "Isle of Lucy.  The Isle of Lucy jazz and blues festival."
Nigel:   "And, uh, it was tragic, really.  He exploded on stage."
Derek:  "Just like that."
David:  "He just went up."
Nigel:   "He just was like a flash of green light... And that was it.  Nothing was left."
David:  "Look at his face."
Nigel:   "Well, there was..."
David:  "It's true, this really did happen."
Nigel:   "It's true.  There was a little green globule on his drum seat."
David:  "Like a stain, really."
Nigel:   "It was more of a stain than a globule, actually."
David:  "You know, several, you know, dozens of people spontaneously combust each year.  It's just not really widely reported."

Spinal Tap switched to heavy metal when psychedelia became passe and were "England's loudest band".  The movie chronicles their tour of the US in the fall of 1982 to promote their latest album, "Smell The Glove".  Some stores will not sell the album because of its sexist cover and many concert appearances are cancelled due to low ticket sales.  Polymer Records releases the album with an all black cover without consulting the band.  Drummer Mick Shrimpton (P. J. Parnell) says, "As long as there's, you know, sex and drugs, I can do without the rock and roll."

Nigel Tufnel is clearly a funny Jeff Beck impersonator.  He plays an original neo-classical composition, then reveals the title:  "Lick My Love Pump".  The volume knob on his guitar amp goes to 11.  In concert his showmanship includes playing the guitar with his feet and also with a violin instead of a plectrum.

Manager Ian Faith (Tony Hendra) quits and is replaced by David's silly girlfriend Jeanine Pettibone (June Chadwick) who manages the group with astrological interpretations.  The band plays at an air force base where Nigel quits.  But the show must go on, and the remaining members play at an amusement park where they are the warm up act for a puppet show.  They decide to end Spinal Tap, but Nigel returns and informs them that "Sex Farm" is a big hit in Japan.  Ian Faith returns as manager.  The film ends with Spinal Tap performing in Japan with a new drummer, Joe "Mama" Besser (Fred Asparagus).

(last lines)
Nigel:   (on what he would do if he couldn't be a rock star)  "Well, I suppose I could, uh, work in a shop of some kind, or... or do, uh, freelance, uh, selling of some sort of, uh, product.  You know..."
Marty:  "A salesman?"
Nigel:   "A salesman, like maybe in a, uh, haberdasher, or maybe like a, uh, um... a chapeau shop or something.  You know, like, "Would you... what size do you wear, sir?"  And then you answer me."
Marty:  "Uh... seven and a quarter."
Nigel:   "I think we have that.  See, something like that I could do."
Marty:  "Yeah... you think you'd be happy doing something like..."
Nigel:   "No, we're all out. Do you wear black?  See, that sort of thing I think I could probably... muster up."
Marty:  "Do you think you'd be happy doing that?"
Nigel:   "Well, I don't know.  Wh-wh... what're the hours?"

THIS IS SPINAL TAP is a hilarious satire and parody of rock documentaries.  Director Rob Reiner  plays Marty DiBergi, the deadpan interviewer for the psuedo-documentary.  The American actors play their own musical instruments and are convincing in their British tongue-in-cheek performances.  Songs are quite funny, and the movie is the funniest ever made about the crazy world of rock and roll.

However, this mockumentary has had a continuing destructive effect on rock.  We can never see rock bands the same way after seeing SPINAL TAP.  Although rock music died at the end of the 1970's, it is a billion dollar industry, and the record companies continue to flog the proverbial dead horse with derivative, boring, but lucrative "product".

And unfortunately, the movie is very true to life.  Many rock bands have commented on this.  "Kiss" members say they had an identical problem getting very lost in passageways to the stage.  George Lynch of "Dokken" says, "That's us!  How'd they make a movie about us?"  Virtuoso guitarist Eddie Van Halen says, "Everything in that movie had happened to me."

Much of the movie was ad libbed and dozens of hours of film were shot before it was edited down to 82 minutes.  A 4 1/2 hour bootleg version exists and is traded among fans and collectors.  A "spinal tap" is a painful medical procedure to collect cerebrospinal fluid.  In 2003 SPINAL TAP was voted the top cult movie of all time by Entertainment Weekly.

Songs performed in the movie are:  "(Tonight I'm Gonna) Rock Ya Tonite", "Gimme Some Money", "Big Bottom", "All The Way Home", "Hell Hole", "Cups And Cakes", "Heartbreak Hotel", "Listen To The Flower People", "Rock And Roll Creation", "Heavy Duty", "Stonehenge", "Sex Farm", and "Jazz Odyssey".  The soundtrack is actually the actors playing the music.

Others in the cast include:  Bruno Kirby (Tommy Pischedda), Ed Begley Jr. (John Pepys), Danny Kortchmar (Ronnie Pudding), Fran Drescher (Bobby Flekman), Patrick Macnee (Sir Denis Eton-Hogg), Sandy Helberg (Angelo DiMentibelio), Billy Crystal (Morty), Paul Benedict (Tucker Brown), Anne Churchill (Reba), Howard Hesseman (Terry Ladd), Paul Shortino (Duke Fame), Russ Kunkel (Eric Childs), Victory Tischler-Blue (Cindy), Joyce Hyser (Belinda), Paul Shaffer (Artie Fufkin), Anjelica Huston (Polly Deutsch), and Robert Bauer (Moke).  The script and music were written by Christopher Guest, Michael McKean, Harry Shearer, and Rob Reiner.  Rob Reiner directed.

THE RETURN OF SPINAL TAP (1992) mostly features the band in a 1992 live performance at the Royal Albert Hall in London.  There is also backstage footage and interviews with band members for a reunion tour to promote their latest album, "Break Like The Wind".  This sequel lacks originality, is not as fresh, and not as good.  It has the same basic cast with appearances by Bob Geldof, Graham Nash, Kenny Rogers, Martin Short, Robin Williams, and Jeff Beck.  The film is actually a TV special that aired December 31, 1992 as, "A Spinal Tap Reunion:  The 25th Anniversary London Sell-Out".  It appeals mostly to Spinal Tap fans who watch the 4 1/2 hour bootleg version of the original and still can't get enough.

BABY SNAKES is an over-long movie of Frank Zappa's 1977 Hallowe'en concert at the Palladium Theater in New York City.  There is concert footage, back-stage footage, and very good claymation segments by Bruce Bickford.  This self-indulgent film is only suitable for Zappa fans, and perhaps rock music fans in general.

Frank Zappa (1940-1993) was a musical and lyrical genius.  For BABY SNAKES he was singer, guitarist, keyboard player, bandleader, director, producer, screenwriter, editor, music composer, and main performer.  The cinematography was done by Phil Parmet and Richard Pearce.

This film is supposed to offer a peek at "people who do stuff that is not normal".  In this regard, it's not very impressive.  BABY SNAKES is not as good as Zappa's 200 MOTELS (1971), which is OK.  And it's not quite as good as his concert video DOES HUMOR BELONG IN MUSIC? (1984).  Frank Zappa says, "God made three mistakes.  First was man.  Second was the wo-man.  Third was the poodle.  He meant to make a German Shepherd, but he f**ked up."  Referring to a stuffed animal's posterior, he says, "We're gonna call this part Burbank."  He tells the audience, "I'll prove to you that I'm bad enough to go to Hell... Yeah!  Because I have been through it!  Yeah!  I have seen it!  Yeah!  It has happened to me!' Yeah!  Remember... I was signed with Warner Brothers for eight f**kin' years!"

"Baby snakes
Late at night is when they come out
Baby snakes
Sure you know what Im talkin about
Pink n wet
They make the best kinda pet
Baby, Baby, Snakes"

The cast includes:  Frank Zappa, Ron Delsener, Johnny Psychotic, Donna U. Wanna, Diva Zappa, Adrian Belew (guitar, vocals), Bruce Bickford, Dale Bozzio, Terry Bozzio (drums, vocals), Vinnie Claiuta, Warren Cuccurullo, Roy Estrada (vocals), Jennifer James, Phil Kaufman, Ed Mann (percussion), Tommy Mars (keyboards, vocals), Patrick O'Hearn (bass), John Smothers, and Peter Wolf (keyboards).

The 21 songs performed are:  "Baby Snakes", "**** 'N Beer", "The Black Page 2", "Jones Crusher", "Disco Boy", "Dinah-Moe-Humm", "Punky's Whips", "I Have Been In You", "I'm So Cute", "City Of Tiny Lites", "Dancin' Fool", Duck Duck Goose", "Yo' Mama's Rubber Shirt", "Return Of The Son Of Shut Up And Play Your Guitar", "Whatever Happened To All The Fun In The World?", "Wait A Minute...We Gotta Get Into Something Real", "Revenge of the Knick Knack People", "(The Adventures Of) Geggery Peccary", "Sexual Harrasment In The Workplace", "Hot Poop", and "Time Is Money". 

Zappa is raunchy, obnoxious, deliberately offensive, and sometimes silly.  At every opportunity the bass player sneaks "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" and "Sunshine of Your Love" into every song possible.  "Punky's Whips" and "**** 'N Beer" (the best song, sung by Terry Bozzio in a devil's mask) are very funny.  For "Dinah-Moe-Humm" Zappa grabs a guy from the crowd and makes him dance and lip-synch while he sings.  Adrian Belew dances around in a dress.  The band plays rock, fusion, solos, and there is participation by Zappa's audience of devoted fans.  Bickford's grotesque claymation segments are freaky, with people and situations morphing into one another.  BABY SNAKES ends with a Grand Finale.  

The original running time was 183 minutes, which was edited down to 166 minutes.  No film distributor was interested in BABY SNAKES, even after it was cut down to 91 minutes in 1984.  Zappa distributed it with his own Intercontinental Absurdities production company and made a profit.  A short CD (7 songs) was released in March 1983.

I've alway admired Frank Zappa for his unique image, outspoken brutal honesty, scathingly satirical songs, and artistic genius.  But he was too intellectual for a music career, and he was sometimes arrogant, cold, cruel, mean-spirited and scatological.  As a singer he had a pitch accuracy of + or - 15%, which he said disqualified him from singing in his own band.  However, uniqueness is the most important asset for a rock singer, and Zappa's voice is very distinctive.  Some of Zappa's guitar playing is quite good, but as a proficient guitarist myself, I must say that Zappa was a third-rate "blooze" guitarist with improper fingering technique.  There are other famous guitarists who hold their plectrums backwards or use a coin instead.  They may be successful, but in my opinion they don't know how to play the guitar and they have my contempt.  Frank Zappa inspired me to feel comfortable with my contempt.

BABY SNAKES won first prize at The Internation Festival of Musical Films in 1981.  The film was released on DVD on December 9, 2003 and the sound quality is superb.  There are no overdubs whatsoever--it is a completely accurate recording of the live concert.

Frank Zappa quotes:

"Remember, Information is not knowledge; Knowledge is not Wisdom; Wisdom is not truth; Truth is not beauty; Beauty is not love; Love is not music; Music is the best."
"Remember, there's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over."
"Government is the Entertainment Division of the military-industrial complex."
"Rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read."
"Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff."
"Drop out of school before your mind rots from exposure to our mediocre educational system.  Forget about the Senior Prom and go to the library and educate yourself if you've got any guts.  Some of you like pep rallies and plastic robots who tell you what to read.  Forget I mentioned it... Rise for the flag salute."
"Fact of the matter is, there is no hip world, there is no straight world.  There's a world, you see, which has people in it who believe in a variety of different things.  Everybody believes in something and everybody, by virtue of the fact that they believe in something, use that something to support their own existence."
"In the fight between you and the world, back the world."
"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline--it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer."
"Art is making something out of nothing and selling it."
"Most people wouldn't know good music if it came up and bit them on the ****."
"The United States is a nation of laws:  badly written and randomly enforced."
"Rock music was never written for or performed for conservative tastes."
"If lyrics make people do things, how come we don't love each other?"

Tim Curry stars as Dr. Frank-N-Furter, "a sweet transvestite from Transsexual Transylvania" in this kinky sci-fi/horror cult musical comedy.  It is based on a flop stage musical and is narrated and commented on by the Criminologist (Charles Gray)

The Criminologist:  "I would like, if I may, to take you on a strange journey....Crawling, on the planet's face...some insects, called the Human Race.  Lost in Time, and lost in space... and in meaning."

Brad Majors (Barry Bostwick) and Janet Weiss (Susan Sarandon), a normal couple, are stranded in a rain storm and take refuge in an isolated creepy old castle filled with degenerate weirdos.  Handyman Riff-Raff (Richard O'Brien) invites them in and they spend the night.

Janet:  "Brad, please, let's get out of here."
Brad:   "For Godssakes, keep a grip on it, Janet."
Janet:  "But it seems so unhealthy here."
Brad:   "It's just a party, Janet."
Janet:  "Well, I wanna go!"
Brad:   "Well we can't go back to the car unless we get to a phone."
Janet:  "Well ask the butler or someone!"
Brad:   "Just a moment, Janet.  We don't want to interfere with their celebration."
Janet:  "This isn't the Junior Chamber of Commerce, Brad!"

The engaged couple try to cope with the madness, which centres on Frank N. Furter's experiment with creating Rocky Horror (Peter Hinwood)--a blond homoerotic muscular boytoy. Frank says, "So come up to the lab, and see what's on the slab.  I see you shiver with antici...pation"

Magenta (Patricia Quinn) and Riff-Raff remove the couple's wet clothes and give them lab coats.  Frank animates the body of Rocky, who "is good for releaving my tension".  Eddie (Meat Loaf) emerges from a freezer storage vault on a motorcycle.  Half of his brain is now in Rocky's head.  Frank murders Eddie with a pickaxe, then after a bridal procession takes Rocky to his boudoir.

Frank-N-Furter:  "It was strange the way it happened.  Suddenly... you get a break!  All of the pieces seem to fit into place.  What a sucker you've been, what a fool.  The answer was there all the time.  It took a small aciddent to make it happen.  An Accident.  And that is how I discovered the secret.  That elusive ingredient, that... spark that is the breath of life... yes I have that knowledge!  I hold the key to life...itself!"

Later that night, Frank disguises himself as Brad and has sex with Janet.  Then he disguises himself as Janet and has sex with Brad.  Magenta and Riff-Raff watch the seductions on TV monitors, then torment Rocky.  Janet sees Rocky crying and seduces him.  Dr. Everett Von Scott (Jonathan Adams), Brad's former science teacher and Eddie's uncle, pays an unexpected visit.  During an awkward dinner, Dr. Scott says he has come for Eddie.  Frank reveals that Eddie was the main course of their meal.

The Criminologist:  (reading from dictionary)  "Emotion:  Agitation or disturbance of mind; vehement or excited mental state.   It is also a powerful and irrational monster.  And from what Magenta and Columbia eagerly viewed on their television monitor, there seemed little doubt that Janet was, indeed... its slave."

There is a chase scene around the castle with all the main characters.  It ends in the lab where Frank uses a "Medusa Ray" to turn them into statues.  Frank dresses them for a show, releases them from suspended animation, and they perform a cabaret act.  Then they plunge into a swimming pool.

Magenta and Riff-Raff arrive and announce they are returning to planet Transsexual in the galaxy Transylvania without Frank, whom they kill with a ray gun.  The castle blasts off, taking Magenta and Riff-Raff back to Transsexual.  Brad, Janet, and Dr. Scott are left lying in an empty field where the castle once stood.

Also in the cast are:  Nell Campbell (Columbia), Jeremy Newson (Ralph Hapschatt), Hilary Labow (Betty Munroe Hapschatt), Gina Barrie (Bridesmaid), Petra Leah (Bridesmaid), Koo Stark (Bridesmaid), and Frank Lester (wedding father).  The Transylvanians are played by:   Perry Bedden, Chrisopher Biggins, Gaye Brown, Ishaq Bux, Stephen Calcutt, Hugh Cecil, Imogen Claire, Tony Cowan, Sadie Corre, Fran Fullenwider, Lindsay Ingram, Peggy Ledger, Annabel Milner, Pamela Obermeyer, Tony Then, Kimi Wong, Rufus Collins, and Henry Wolf.  The script is by Jim Sharman and Richard O'Brien.  Music and lyrics are by Richard O'Brien.  Jim Sharman directed.      

The first two songs are first-rate:  "Time Warp" and "Sweet Transvestite".  The many other songs are mediocre at best, and only serve to advance the plot.  This is usual for musicals, which generally have only one or two good songs.   People who listen to the second-rate songs repeatedly become familiar with them and enjoy them--but they're still crap.  The other songs are:  "Science Fiction - Double Feature"; "Dammit, Janet"; "Over at the Frankenstein Place"; "The Sword of Damocles"; "I Can Make You a Man"; "Hot Patootie"; "Once in a While" (cut from film); "Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch-a Touch Me"; "Eddie's Teddy"; "Planet Schmanet Janet"; "Don't Dream It, Be It"; "Wild and Untamed Thing"; "I'm Going Home"; and "Superheroes".
   
The Criminologist:  "It's just a jump to the left."
Everybody:           " And then a step to the right!"
The Criminologist:  "With your hands on your hips"
Everybody:         
"You bring your knees in tight!
But it's the pelvic thrust
That really drives you insane
Let's do the time warp again!"

The lips in the opening song "Science Fiction - Double Feature"  belong to Patricia Quinn and the singing is by Richard O'Brien, who actually wrote the original stageplay and also the terrible spin-off sequel movie.  Tim Curry originally auditioned for the role of Rocky by singing Little Richard's song "Tootie Fruity".  Director Jim Sharman was so impressed he cast him as Dr. Frank-N-Furter.

THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW was one of the first movies to be shown at special Midnight screenings.  It quickly developed a phenomenal subculture of audience participation.  Patrons dressed up as their favorite characters, spoke and sang along with the movie sound track, tossed popcorn around the theatre, and so on.  This film is fast paced, trashy, weird, subversive, and great fun.  It's certainly not for everybody, and for some it is probably more entertaining in a theatre as a participation movie. 

Quotes from Tim Curry:
"One of the best things that ever happened to me was ROCKY HORROR being a total flop in New York as a play.  I mean, it was a disaster, and it was the night of the long knives as far as the critics were concerned."
"I'm proud of that character (Frank-N-Furter).  I have no intention of disowning it.  There's no point in saying, 'I'm not the Fonz.'  And I did it for so long.  At the beginning, it was just another play, the fifth I was doing at that theater (The Royal Shakespeare Company).  It just clicked and went on and took so long to surface as a film.  Now it's a minor religion.  I don't think you can worry too much about how the public sees you."  
"I don't really think THE ROCKY HORROR SHOW has typecast me.  That was a long time ago and I have done a lot since then.  But there are a lot of people who seem to associate me only with that project."
"I ran up and down ladders in high heels." (for ROCKY HORROR)
"I did that show (ROCKY HORROR) forever.  I did six months in London,  six months in L.A., and then I did the movie, and then a couple of months in New York.  It was enough ... The cult thing has always been a bit peculiar to me, because it's so much more here than it is in England.  It's always bewildering to me again when I first come back to America.  "Rocky" acolytes still try and get in touch with me.  But people don't go through my garbage anymore, or line up in front of the apartment building."
(Speaking to a crowd at a ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW convention)
"It's so comforting to know that there are so many people in this world sicker than I am." 

The semi-sequel to ROCKY HORROR is the seldom-seen SHOCK TREATMENT (1981).  Basically it's an inferor rip-off of part of MELVIN AND HOWARD (1980), about TV game shows.  SHOCK TREATMENT has the same director, and some of the same cast from ROCKY HORROR.  The dreadful music sounds identical to ROCKY, with the same production.  Brad and Janet (played by different actors) are trapped on a TV game show and try to escape.  Do yourself a favour and don't get trapped in this horrible movie. There's no escaping the fact that it's so bad it's unwatchable.   

Retired slot machine mobster Marty 'Fats' Murdock (Edmond O'Brien) wants his dumb-blonde girlfriend Georgianna "Jerri" Jordan (Jayne Mansfield) to be a singing star, despite her apparent lack of talent.  He hires theatrical agent Tom Miller (Tom Ewell) to promote her career and make her a star in six weeks.

Miller:     "Six weeks?  Rome wasn't built in a day."
Murdock: "She ain't Rome.  What we're talking about is already built." 
 
Miller reluctanly agrees to groom Jerri, then takes her to many night clubs and recording studios so the gorgeous beauty can be seen by those who control show biz.  Jerri says only what Miller told her to tell everybody:  "Ask my agent."  Offers of contracts pour in.  However, Murdock becomes dangerously jealous when Miller and Jerri seem to develop a romantic relationship.  Murdock tells Miller, "Okay, so Jerri can't sing.  Well, that guy ain't got a trained voice either, and he's one of the top paid record stars in the country.  Why?  Because he has a new sound." 

In the end, Jerri proves she does have talent.  Furthermore, she confesses that home and motherhood are her real interests, and she has fallen in love with Miller.  They marry, have children, and there is a happy ending for all.

Tom Ewell is very good, but basically just reprises his role in THE SEVEN YEAR ITCH (1955) opposite Marilyn Monroe.  Jayne Mansfield, in her first starring role, has an easy job with simple lines.  Mostly she stands or moves around looking beautiful.  Edmond O'Brien is loud, overbearing, witty, and gives a good tongue-in-cheek comic performance.

The real reason to watch the movie is to enjoy the performances by the golden greats of Rock'n'Roll.  Little Richard sings the title song as well as "She's Got It" and "Ready Teddy" in a night club.  Fats Domino sings "Blue Monday" at the piano in concert.  The Platters perform "You'll Never, Never Know".  Eddie Cochran sings "Twenty Flight Rock" on TV.  Gene Vincent & the Blue Caps record "Be-Bop-A-Lula" in a rehearsal studio.

Lesser known artists also appear.  The Treniers sing "Rocking Is Our Business".  Eddie Fontaine does "Cool It Baby".  Teddy Randazzo and the Three Chuckles sing "Cinnamon Sinner".  Nino Tempo performs "Tempo's Theme". Johnny Olenn sings "I Ain't Gonnna Cry No More".  Bobby Troup sings "You Got It Made".  Abbey Lincoln does "Spread The Word".  Ray Anthony & his Orchestra perform "Big Band Boogie" and "Rock Around The Rockpile".

Also, Julie London is featured in the film as a haunting spirit "dream girl" in Miller's apartment, and sings her top ten hit of 1956, "Cry Me A River".  Betty Grable in archival footage sings "I Wish I Could Shimmy Like My Sister Kate" from WABASH AVENUE (1950).  Jayne Mansfield lip-synchs to "Every Time You Kiss Me".

THE GIRL CAN'T HELP IT is a garish pop scene spoof with a plot borrowed from BORN YESTERDAY (1950) starring Judy Holliday.  There are some good sight gags, many poking fun at Jayne Mansfield's famous curvaceous figure.  For example, she holds two bottles of milk against her ample breasts, which causes bottles of milk to burst in a milk delivery truck.  Miller tells a paperboy, "She's just a girl, Barry.  Just a girl."  Barry fires back, "If she's a girl, then I don't know what my sister is."

Others in the cast include:  John Emery (Wheeler), Henry Jones (Mousie), Barry Gordon (paperboy), Juanita Moore (Hilda), Sue Carlton (teenager), Fred Catania (bodyguard), Les Clark (recording engineer), Richard Collier (milkman), Alex Frazer (Rogers), Milton Frome (Nick), George Givot (secretary), Johnny Grant (M.C.), Bill Jones (bartender), Henry Kulky (iceman), Frank J. Scannell (Samuels), and many others.  Frank Tashlin directed and wrote the screenplay with Herbert Baker, which is based on the 1955 novel "Do Re Mi" by Garson Kanin.

Director Frank Tashlin's slam-bang style (he started as a cartoonist) is very appropriate for a comedy Rock and Pop musical.  This farce is a subtle satire on the entertainment industry.  Music is the movie's main attraction and fortunately the sound is 4-track stereo.  Unfortunately, like many films, every musical act is interrupted by dialogue. 

LI'L ABNER is a musical comedy based on the 1956 Broadway version of Al Kapp's syndicated comic strip that ran from 1934 until 1977.  Most of the actors and dancers from the stage version are in the film, and it is remarkably faithful to its source. 

The hillbilly town of Dogpatch fights the government's plan to turn it into a site for atomic bombs, while the army does a body-building experiment on Li'l Abner Yokum (Peter Palmer).  Earthquake McGoon (Ben Hoffman) wants to marry Daisy Mae (Leslie Parish), who wants to marry Li'l Abner.  He justs wants to go fishing.  Pansy "Mammy" Yokum (Billie Hayes) has a tonic that might save the town.  Li'l Abner offers the tonic to Washington, but General Bullmoose (Howard St. John) wants it too.  The plot thickens.

Mammy Yoakum:  "Is you inferring you has money?"
Earthquake:        "Lady, I is filthy with it."
Mammy Yoakum:  "Mister, you is filthy without it." 
Sen. Phogbound:  "I'll bet you were wondering what I've been doing up there in Washington, D.C. these past eighteen years."
Mammy Yoakum:  "We didn't care, as long as you was there and we was here!"

Mammy Yoakum:  "You gals are going to have to go through a before-marriage custom called engagement."
Moonbeam:         "Engagement, what's that?"
Mammy Yoakum:  "That's the part before the gal says 'Shore do!' and the preacher says 'Go, too!'"
Moonbeam:         "How long this engagement thing last?"
Mammy Yoakum:  "Sometimes a whole month."
Moonbeam:         "A whole month?  What are they, insecure?"

LI'L ABNER is a bright, cheerful and corny comedy, energetic and fast paced.  One highlight is the music and dance sequence of the Sadie Hawkins Day race, in which the women of Dogpatch can marry the men they catch.  The film is somewhat reminiscent of the BEVERLY HILLBILLIES TV show in some ways.  It's a dated political satire, with off-beat wry humour, overacting, and quite a few sexual innuendoes.

The cast also includes:  Stubby Kaye (Marryin' Sam), Julie Newmar (Stupefyin' Jones), Stella Stevens (Appassionata Von Climax), Joe E. Marks (Pappy Yokum), Al Nesor (Eagle Eye Fleagle), Robert Strauss (Romeo Scragg), William Lanteau (Available Jones), Ted Thurston (Sen. Jack S. Phogbound), Carmen Alvarez (Moonbeam McSwine), Alan Carney (Mayor Daniel D. Dogmeat), Stanley Simmonds (Rasmussen T. Finsdale), Diki Lerner (Lonesome Polecat), Joe Ploski (Hairless Joe), Jerry Lewis (Itchy McRabbit), and many others.  Melvin Frank and Norman Panama wrote the script and Melvin Frank directed.

Music from the stage musical is by Gene de Paul.  Original music is by Joesph J. Lilley and Nelson Riddle, who conducted.  The Johnny Mercer songs are:  "It's a Typical Day" (performed by the entire cast), "If I Had My Druthers" (performed by Peter Palmer), "Jubilation T. Cornpone" (performed by Stubby Kaye), "Rag Offen the Bush" (performed by the entire cast), "Namely You" (performed by Leslie Paish and Peter Palmer), "What's Good for General Bullmoose" (performed by Howard St. John, Stella Stevens, and Ted Thurston), "The Country's in the Very Best of Hands" (performed by Peter Palmer and Stubby Kaye), "I'm Past My Prime" (performed by Leslie Parish and Stubby Kaye), "Put 'em Back" (performed by Carmen Alvarez), and "Matrimonial Stomp" (performed by Stubby Kaye).  The soundtrack is mono.

During Li'l Abner's and Sam's "The Country's in the Very Best of Hands" musical number, both Mayor Dawgmeat and his podium disappear twice.  Nelson Riddle and Joseph J. Lilley were nominated for an Academy Award for their score.  Nelson Riddle was nominated for a Grammy.  LI'L ABNER was nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Musical.       

LI'L ABNER (1940) is a low-budget, poorly scripted adaptation of Al Kapp's comic strip.  A great cast of silent film's best comics in grotesque makeup bring the characters to life, but it is not funny.  The cast includes: Buster Keaton, Jeff York, Martha O'Driscoll, Mona Ray, Johnnie Morris, Billy Seward, Kay Sutton, Maude Eburne, Edgar Kennedy, Doodles Weaver, and many others.  Tyler Johnson and Charles Kerr wrote the screenplay and Albert S. Rogell directed.

Robin Williams made his feature film starring debut as Popeye the sailor man.  The movie adaptation is a musical based mostly on the Elzie Crisler Segar comic strip, rather than the Max Fleischer animated cartoons.  Yet, the film begins with an authentic intro from the original black and white POPEYE cartoons.

Popeye arrives by dinghy in the seaside town of Sweet Haven looking for his long-lost father.  He meets Wimpy (Paul Dooley) who loves hamburgers, Olive Oyl (Shelley Duvall), the love of his life, and Bluto (Paul L. Smith), a mean and nasty pirate who runs Sweet Haven.  His dad Poopdeck Pappy (Ray Walston) shows up, he adopts Swee' pea (Wesley Ivan Hurt), and is determined to stop Bluto.  He mops the floor with punks in Wimpy's burger joint, stops a greedy tax collector (Donald Moffat), and defeats a champion boxer.
 
Popeye: "I found him in Sweet Haven, that's why I am calling him Swee'Pea.  That is his name."
Olive :   "Swee'Pea is the worst name I've ever heard on a baby."
Popeye: "Well what do you wants me to call him?  Baby Oyl?"

Like a cartoon character brought to life, Williams has massive forearms and mutters asides under his breath, a pipe clenched in his teeth.  Often it's difficult to understand what he is saying.  Both he and Shelley Duvall are perfect for their roles.  Popeye sings, "I'm one tough gazookas that hates all palookas that ain't on the up and square.  I biffs 'em and always out-roughs 'em and none of 'em gets nowhere.  So keep good behavior, it's your one lifesaver, with Popeye the Sailor Man."
    
Popeye:  "How come carrots is a dollar?"
Geezil:    "$1.50. You buy what I don't feel like selling will cost you $2.00."
Popeye:  (Takes the carrots and tosses Geezil a nickel)
Geezil:    "Ah ah. Nope, this is a nickel."
Popeye:  "I'm payin' what I feels like payin'."
Tax Man: "You're not up to no good are you?  Because if you are there's a 25¢ up to no good tax."

POPEYE is a big-budget musical comedy directed by Robert Altman.  It is suitable for kids, rated PG, and should also be classified as a cult film.  With the strange and awkward set design, it is fascinating to watch and is often lots of fun.

The songs by Harry Nilsson are:  I Yam What I Yam; He Needs Me; Swee' Pea's Lullaby; Everything is Food; Din' We; Sweet Haven; Blow Me Down; Sailin'; It's Not Easy Being Me; Children; He's Large; I'm Mean; Food, Food, Food; and Kids.  "I'm Popeye the Sailor Man" was written by Samuel Lerner. 

Nilsson took his band to Malta, where a special recording studio was constructed for the movie.  Music was also recorded and mixed at Cherokee Studios, co-produced by Nilsson and Bruce Robb.  Some of the songs are sung live in the film, and do not match the studio-recorded CD soundtrack.  Shelley Duvall sings all her own songs.

Songs are cute and charming, and they advance the plot quite well.  Examples are:  "Sailin'", "He's Large", "I'm Mean", "Food, Food, Food", and "He Needs Me".  There are very few rhymes in the songs; instead there is very much repetition.  And Altman's style of cross-cutting to non-musical scenes during songs is quite evident.

One major criticism is the lack of action until the very end, when Popeye finally eats some spinach.  Popeye dislikes spinach, and therefore Bluto forces him to eat some.  This is ironic considering he is supposedly "strong to the finich, 'cause he eats his spinach!"  

The cast also includes:   Richard Libertini (Geezil), MacIntyre Dixon (Cole Oyl), Roberta Maxwell (Nana Oyl), Donovan Scott (Castor Oyl), Allan F. Nicholls (Rough House), Bill Irwin (Ham Gravy), Robert Fortier (Bill Barnacle), David McCharen (Harry Hotcash), Sharon Kinney (Cherry), Peter Bray (Oxblood Oxheart), Linda Hunt (Mrs. Oxheart), Geoff Hoyle (Scoop), Wayne Robson (Chizzelflint), Larry Pisoni (Chico), Calrlo Pellegrini (Swifty), Susan Kingsley (La Verne), Judy Burgess (Petunia), Saundra MacDonald (Violet), Michael Christiansen (Splatz), Van Dyke Parks (Hoagy), Dennis Franz (Spike), and many others.  Jules Feiffer wrote the script.

This is one of my favorite Robin Williams films, but most movie reviewers do not like it.  They write it is "astonishingly boring", "cluttered", and "uninspired and often pointless".  I believe they simply do not like the Popeye character.  If for some reason they did not like Shakespeare's Hamlet character, they would pan it as well.  They are not being fair in their criticisms and honest about their prejudices.

POPEYE earned $50 million at the US box-office, more than twice its budget, and is still raking in money.  It was filmed almost entirely on the Mediterranean island of Malta, in the village of Mellieha.  The well-constructed set is now a popular tourist attraction called Popeye Village.

WILLY WONKA and the Chocolate Factory is a musical fable, a cult classic for both children and adults.  Charlie Bucket (Peter Ostrum) is a poor boy who can barely support his family.  He finds the last of the five "golden tickets" in a Wonka Bar, which allows him to tour the strangest candy factory in the world.  Charlie and his Grandpa Joe (Jack Albertson) visit the thrilling and dangerous factory with four insufferable brats who are also lucky winners.  All have been approached by Ansel Slugworth (Gunter Meisner), who wants an Everlasting Gobstopper, a candy that can be licked forever without losing its flavour.

Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder), reclusive and enigmatic owner of the mysterious candy factory, is the tour guide.  The psychedelic trip through the factory is partly a children's paradise, but also a creepy funhouse.  Wonka's workers are small orange men known as Oompa Loompas.  The fantastic set includes rivers of flowing chocolate, giant edible mushrooms, lickable wallpaper, coat hooks shaped like hands that move, and candy bars that can be taken out of TV screens.  When the kids take Everlasting Gobstoppers and start to run amuck, violating Wonka's ethics, one by one they disappear.  Violet Beauregarde (Denise Nickerson) bloats with blueberry juice, Augustus Gloop (Michael Bollner) falls into a chocolate river, Veruca Salt (Julie Dawn Cole) is a bad egg and goes down the garbage chute, and Mike Teevee (Paris Themmen) is sent by Wonkavision.
 
(Charlie and Grandpa are floating in the Fizzy Lifting room and Grandpa does a somersault)
Charlie:   "Hey, you did it, Grandpa."
Grandpa:  "Ohhhh... ohhhh, I think I hit an air pocket."
Charlie:   "You can fly to the moon this way."
Grandpa:  "Let's just fly south for the winter."
Charlie:   "Why not?  I'm a bird!"
Grandpa:  "I'm a plane!"
Charlie:   "I'm... going too high!"

Only Charlie and Grandpa Joe remain.  Willy Wonka explains that they survived because they drank the forbidden Fizzy Lifting Drink without permission.  Charlie gives his Everlasting Gobstopper back, proving his honesty, and wins not only a lifetime supply of chocolate, but the entire Wonka factory as well.  It turns out Ansel Slugworth is actually an employee of the factory. 

The movie is an adapatation of Roald Dahl's 1964 novel,"Charlie and the Chocolate Factory".  Dahl also wrote the movie script, although it was rewritten by David Seltzer (uncredited).  This semi-satirical musical fantasy is tremendously imaginative, entertaining, charming, and fun for all age groups.  However, some reviewers think the film has a cruel edge and is somewhat subversive.  Others complain there is too much moralizing.

Eccentric purple-clad Willy Wonka often speaks in epigrams and says very witty things, such as:  "Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple"; "If the good Lord had intended us to walk he wouldn't have invented roller-skates"; "A little nonsense now and then is cherished by the wisest men."; "The suspense is terrible, I hope it will last."; and "Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker."  My favorite is, "There's so much time, but so little to do."  Willy Wonka uses many literary quotations, added by David Seltzer when he re-wrote Roald Dahl's script.

Music is by British songwriters Leslie Bricusse and Anthony Newley.  Musical direction was by Walter Scharf.  The songs are:  "The Candy Man" (performed by Aubrey Woods), "Charlie's Paper Run", "Cheer Up, Charlie" (performed by Diana Sowle), "(I've Got A) Golden Ticket" (performed by Jack Albertson and Peter Ostrum), "Pure Imagination" (Performed by Gene Wilder),  "Oompa Loompa Doompa-De-Do" (Performed by the Oompa Loompas), "The Wondrous Boat Ride" (performed by Gene Wilder), "Everlasting Gobstoppers", "The Bubble Machine", "Wonkamobile", "Wonkavision", "Wonkavator", "The Rowing Song" (performed by Gene Wilder), "Ach So Fromm" (performed by Gene Wilder) and "I Want It Now" (performed by Julie Dawn Cole).

Lines in the song "Sweet Lovers Love the Spring Time" are from Shakespeare's AS YOU LIKE IT, taken from the Celtic ballad "It Was a Lover and His Lass".  The quote "We are the music-makers..." is from Arthur O'Shaughnessy's ODE.  When Willy Wonka plays the piano, Mrs. Teevee says it is Rachmaninoff, although it is actually Mozart (it's a joke).  The final Oompa Loompa song took over 5 takes to get it right, although one Oompa Loompa in the foreground obviously doesn't know the words to the song.

The cast also includes:   Roy Kinnear (Mr. Henry Salt), Leonard Stone (Mr. Sam Beauregarde), Dora Denney (Mrs. Teevee), Ursula Reit (Mrs. Gloop), Diana Sowle (Mrs. Bucket), Aubrey Woods (Bill), David Battley (Mr. Turkentine), Peter Capell (The Tinker), Werner Heyking (Mr. Jopeck), Peter Stuart (Winkelmann), Dora Altmann (Grandma Georgina), Rudy Borgstaller (Oompa Loompa), Pat Coombs (Henrietta Salt), Gloria Manon (Mrs. Curtis), Ernst Zielgler (Grandpa George), and many others.  Mel Stuart directed.

CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY (2005) is the second film adaptation of the book.  It stars Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka and Freddie Highmore as Charlie Bucket.  Tim Burton directed and intended his film to be a slightly modernized and closely adapted version of Roald Dahl's book, not a remake of the first film.  Some critics complain that Depp's interpretation is an imitation of Michael Jackson or Jim Carrey.  There is an ongoing debate about which film is more faithful to the book, as both make changes to the source.  Burton's version was initially better received than Stuart's, grossing over $400 million with a budget of $150 million, and was nominated for an Academy Award for Costume Design.

ROAD TO BALI is the sixth Bob Hope/Bing Crosby "road" musical comedy.  It is the only one in colour and is the last they made for Paramount Pictures.  Hal Walker directed it, and he also directed ROAD TO UTOPIA (1945).  

George Cochran (Bing Crosby) and Harold Gridley (Bob Hope) are vaudeville song and dance performers working in Melbourne, Australia.  Forced to leave to avoid a dual shotgun marriage, they sign on as undersea divers for Prince Ken Arok (Murvyn Vye).

They sail to a South Seas island and meet his cousin Princess Lalah (Dorothy Lamour), who looks better in black and white.  Lalah's Scottish father lost a treasure chest of jewels when his ship sank.  Harold recovers the treasure after an encounter with the squid from REAP THE WIND (1942). 

Ken Arok tries to usurp Lalah's throne, and the trio escape with the treasure and head for Bali to sell it.  Their boat sinks and they crawl ashore an island.  They contend with jungle dangers such as cannibalistic natives, a slapstick gorilla, and an exploding volcano from ALOMA OF THE SOUTH SEAS (1941), which stars Dorothy Lamour.  Princess Lalah is attracted to George, but also likes Harold because he reminds her of a pet chimpanzee.
 
Lalah:      "Look!"
George:  "The African Queen!  Humphrey Bogart?"
Harold:   "Boy, is he lost!"
George:  "Hey!  Hey, Bogie!"
(All three run toward Humphrey Bogart)
Harold:   "Hey, jungle fever!  That's what we got. That was just a mirage!"
George:  "Oh yeah?  What about this?"
(Holding up a trophy)
George:  "Humphrey Bogart's Academy Award!"
Harold:   "An Oscar!  Gimme that, you got one.  Friends, this is a great occasion, me receiving this Academy Award.  And I'd like to say a word..."

ROAD TO BALI is a song-and-dance musical comedy, and the songs are by Johnny Burke (lyrics) and Jimmy Van Heusen (music).  Bing Crosby sings "To See You Is To Love You".  Crosby and Bob Hope sing "Chicago Style", "Hoot Mon", and "The Merry-Go-Run-Around" (also with Dorothy).  The two crooners also dance.  Dorothy Lamour sings "Moonflowers".  There is also the instrumental "Chorale for Brass, Piano, and Bongo" by Stan Kenton and Pete Rugolo.  Most of the music score is string oriented with orchestral arrangements by Van Cleave.  The soundtrack is mono.   

Crosby's version of "To See You Is to Love You" is in Alfred Hitchcock's REAR WINDOW (1954) without credits to Crosby or the songwriters.  On a boat, when Bing Crosby is about to sing, Bob Hope turns to the camera and says, "He's gonna sing folks.  Now's the time to go and get your popcorn."

Also in the cast are:  Peter Coe (Gung), Ralph Moody (Bhoma Da), Leo Askin (Ramayana), Carolyn Jones (Eunice), Jan Kayne (Verna), Michael Ansara, Herman Cantor, Sue Casey, Larry Chance, Leslie Charles, Jack Claus, Jena Corbett, Harry Cording, Roy Gordon, Berernie Gozier, Richard Keene, Al Kikume, Donald Lawton, Bunny Lewbel, Judith London, Charles Mauu, Patti McKay, Allan Nixon, Betty Onge, Satini Pualoa, Kuka Tuima, and Douglas Yorke, Besmark Auelua, Patricia Dane, Devi Dja, Mary Kanae, and many others.  Writing credits are Frank Butler, Hal Kanter, William Morrow and Harry Tugend.  Original music is by Johnny Burke and Joseph J. Lilley.  Hal Walker directed.            

Cameos include:  Humphrey Bogart, Jane Russel, Carolyn Jones, Bob Crosby, Jerry Lewis, and Dean Martin.  The special effects are good.

ROAD TO BALI is my favorite "road" movie because it's in colour.  All seven are great:  SINGAPORE (1940), ZANZIBAR (1941), MOROCCO (1942), UTOPIA (1945), RIO (1947), BALI (1952), and HONG KONG (1962).  ROAD TO HONG KONG, distrubuted by United Artists, is my second favorite "road" movie.  I first saw it in a movie theatre, and it's reminiscent of DR. NO (1962), with espionage and space rockets.  Robert Morley is an excellent villain and the cameos are great.  Too bad it's not in colour.  ROAD TO MOROCCO has the best music.

The camaraderie and chemistry between Bob and Bing is always terrific.  Con man Bing is smarter than cowardly Bob and usually dominates and takes advantage of him.  There are constant wisecracks, sight gags, inside jokes and a love triangle with Dorothy Lamour, who is the "straight man".  It seems there is a homosexual sub-text in all the road movies.  In this film Bob and Bing kiss, marry each other, and sleep together.  What always puzzles me is Bob Hope's pro-Republican jokes.  It is completely out of character for him to be a Republican and the "jokes" aren't funny.  He should be apolitical, or at least a Democrat in the "road" movies. 

They don't make films like this anymore.  It's an innocent, harmless, entertaining and very pleasant diversion.  Interestingly, ROAD TO BALI is the only road movie to lapse into the public domain, so over a dozen companies have released DVDs of the film.    

PREFER BLONDES is a delightful musical comedy starring Marilyn Monroe as Lorelei Lee and Jane Russel as Dorothy Shaw. 

Lorelei and Dorothy are showgirls from Little Rock who take a luxury ocean liner to Paris, where Lorelei plans to marry rich Gus Esmond (Tommy Noonan).  They are stalked by private detective Ernie Malone (Elliot Reid), hired by the father of Gus Esmond to make certain Lorelei is not a gold digger.  She certainly is.  Dorothy tells Lorelei, "You know I think you're the only girl in the world who can stand on stage with a spotlight in her eye and still see a diamond inside a man's pocket."

Gus Esmond:   "Dorothy Shaw.  I want you to remember you're supposed to be the chaperone on this trip."
Dorothy Shaw: "Now lets get this straight, Gus.  The chaperone's job is to see that nobody else has any fun.  Nobody chaperone's the chaperone.  That's why I'm so right for this job...In bed by nine?  That's when life just begins!"

On the ship Dorothy is mostly interested in the American Olympic Team.  Lorelei wants her to marry a rich man, and sets her up with Henry Spofford III (George "Foghorn" Winslow), who turns out to be a rich 7 year-old boy.  He is precocious and says to Dorothy, "I'm old enough to appreciate a good looking girl when I see one."  Later he tells Lorelei, "You've got a lot of animal magnetism."

Lorelei meets Sir Francis "Piggy" Beekman and Lady Beekman (Charles Coburn and Norma Varden).  Piggy owns diamond mines and Lorelei covets Lady Beekman's diamond tiara.  Sir Francis Beekman is very attracted to Lorelei and she is attracted to his wealth.  Eventually Piggy gives the tiara to Lorelei and this causes major problems for Lorelei and Dorothy.

(Lorelei is holding Lady Beekman's tiara)
Lorelei Lee:     "How do you put it around your neck?"
Dorothy Shaw: "You don't, honey, it goes on your head."
Lorelei Lee:     "You must think I was born yesterday."
Dorothy Shaw: "Well, sometimes there's just no other possible explanation."
Lady Beekman: "It's a tiara."
Lorelei Lee:      "You do wear it on your head.  I just love finding new places to wear diamonds."
(later in Paris)
Lady Beekman: "You'll find I mean business."
Dorothy Shaw: "Oh, really?  Then why are you wearing that hat?"

The great songs by Leo Robin and Jule Styne from the Broadway show are:  "Two Little Girls From Little Rock", "Bye, Bye Baby", and Marilyn Monroe steals the show with "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend".  The only song by Marilyn I like better is "My Heart Belongs To Daddy" in LET'S MAKE LOVE (1960).  Later Russel sings "Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend" while impersonating Monroe in court.  Her performance is great, but she does not look attractive in a blonde wig. 

Hoagy Carmichael and Harold Adamson wrote songs especially for the film:  "Ain't There Anyone Here For Love?" and "When Love Goes Wrong, Nothing Goes Right".  Eliot Daniel and Lionel Newman wrote "You're In Love".  The soundtrack is mono. 

Detective Malone ruins Lorelei's marriage engagement, but everything works out fine when Malone and Dorothy fall in love.  Lorelei impresses her future father-in-law with her honourable intentions and intelligence.  Marilyn Monroe wrote the line:  "I can be smart when it's important, but most men don't like it."

Esmond Sr.: "Have you got the nerve to tell me you don't want to marry my son for his money?"
Lorelei:       "It's true."
Esmond Sr.: "Then what do you want to marry him for?"
Lorelei:       "I want to marry him for your money."
Esmond Sr.: "Say, they told me you were stupid."  You certainly don't seem stupid to me."
Lorelei:       "I can be smart when I need to be... Don't you know that a man being rich is like a girl being pretty?  You wouldn't marry a girl just because she's pretty, but my goodness, doesn't it help?"

The film ends with the double marriage of Lorelei to Gus, and Dorothy to Ernie Malone.  As they walk down the aisle, Dorothy whispers to Lorelei:  "Remember, honey, on your wedding day it's alright to say Yes."

Also in the cast are:  Taylor Holmes (Mr. Esmond Sr.), Howard Wedell (Watson), Macel Dalio (Magistrate), Steven Geray (Hotel Manager), Henri Letondal (Grotier), Leo Mostovoy (Ship Captain), Alex Frazer (Pritchard), George Davis (Pierre), Harry Carey Jr. (Sims), Ray Montgomery (Peters), Robert Nichols (Evans), James R. Young (Randall), William Cabanne (Winslow), Rolfe Sedan (Francois), Harry Seymour (Louie), and many others.  Charles Lederer wrote the screenplay based on the play by Joseph Fields and Anita Loos.  Howard Hawks directed.            

GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES is an intelligent movie filled with funny gags, silly shenanigans, glamorous costumes, and well staged choreography.  The first half is better than the last half.  Russel is warm and secure, with down-to-earth razor sharp wit and a better singing voice than Monroe.  It's a study in contrasts with the child-like Monroe, who was paid much less than Russel for her work.  

I never liked the anachronistic fortune hunter premise of the movie, but film scholars consider GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES as "feminist" and ahead of its time by exploring women's powerlessness in society in a sharp social satire.  The wonderful friendship between Lorelei and Dorothy is heart-warming.  They were real friends off camera.  Russel called Monroe "Blondie" and was the only person who could persuade her to come out of her dressing room onto the movie set.

In 1919, Molly Donahue (Ethel Merman) and Terence Donahue (Dan Dailey) are a vaudeville team that travels a great deal.  They have three children, Tim (Donald O'Connor), Steve (Johnnie Ray), and Katy (Mitzi Gaynor), who join their act on stage to sing and dance as The Five Donahues.  When the children mature, the popularity of the parents declines.

Molly is concerned about her children:  "You start worrying about your kids the day they're born, and you never stop.  Even after they bury you, I bet you never stop worrying."..."I want them to have an education... a real education.  They have to learn arithmetic and spelling and geography."
Terence:   "You never went past the sixth grade... and it was probably the fourth grade, because you said it was the sixth."
Molly:       "My age is the only thing I lie about, and I don't add on, I take off."
Terence:   "All right, the sixth grade, but there's nothing wrong with your arithmetic. You can whistle 'Mandy', do an 'Off to Buffalo', and count the house at the same time, and tell me within five cents how much is out there."
Molly:       "That's not arithmetic."
Terence:   "You're darn right that's not... that's higher mathematics."

Tim meets hat check girl Vicky Hoffman (Marilyn Monroe), falls in love, and the family act starts to disintegrate.  Molly asks Vicky, "Fit Lew Harris into this picture, will you?"  She replies, " Lew did everything for me.  Maybe he did have some ideas, that doesn't mean I always agreed with them.  There was never anyone for me but Tim."  Steve leaves the show to become a priest.  Johnny Ray's acting is so bad, leaving the movie would have been preferable.  Then Katy meets handsome Charles Biggs (Hugh O'Brian).  In the end, the family reunites during a splashy production number finale.

The twenty year history of the family's struggles on and off stage has a thin plot.  It is mostly a vehicle for a catalogue of vibrant and rousing Irving Berlin songs.  A flamboyant and gaudy musical comedy, it is entertaining, if not inspired.  The movie is 20th Century-Fox's first Cinemascope musical and must be watched in the widescreen format.  Often the screen is filled with six people side by side, so a pan and scan fullscreen version should be avoided if possible.

Others in the cast include:  Richard Eastham (Lew Harris), Frank McHugh (Eddie Duggen), Rhys Williams (Father Dineen), Lee Patrick (Marge), Robin Raymond (Lillian Sawyer), Chick Chandler (Harry), Nolan Leary (Archbishop), Gavin Gordon (Geoffrey), Isabelle Dwan (Sophie Tucker), Charlotte Austin (Lorna), Donald Kerr (Bobbly Clark), and many others.  Lamar Trotti, and Henry and Phoebe Ephron wrote the script.  Alfred Newman composed the incidental music.  Walter Lang directed.

There are 15 Irving Berlin songs.  Marilyn Monroe sings "Heat Wave" and "After You Get What You Want You Don't Want It".  Ethel Merman sings "Let's Have Another Cup O'Coffee", "When They Play a Simple Melody", "A Pretty Girl Is Like a Melody", and "There's No Business Like Show Business"--which is also performed by the entire cast.  "Lazy" is performed by Monroe, Gaynor, and O'Connor.  Dan Dailey Sings "You'd be Surprised". "A Sailor's not a Sailor ('Til a Sailor's Been Tattooed) is sung by Merman and Gaynor.  "A Man Chases a Girl (Until She Catches Him)" is sung by Monroe and O'Connor, who also dances.  Merman and Dailey sing "When the Midnight Choo Choo Leaves for Alabam", which is later reprised by Gaynor and O'Connor.  Johnnie Ray sings "If You Believe".  "Alexander's Ragtime Band" is sung by Merman, Dailey, O'Connor, Gaynor, and Ray--and later by the entire cast.

THERE'S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS was extremely expensive to make, attracted a large audience, but did not make a profit at the time.  The title is taken from the famous song in the musical ANNIE GET YOUR GUN (1950).  Most critics don't rate this movie very highly.  Marilyn Monroe didn't want to make this film, but agreed when Fox promised her the lead in THE SEVEN YEAR ITCH (1957).  Nonetheless, it's one of the best Hollywood musicals, looks great and the music is wonderful in four-track stereo surround sound.

Gaston Lachaille (Louis Jourdan) is bored with women and only enjoys the company of Madame Alvarez (Hermione Gingold) and her grand-daughter Gilberte or "Gigi" (Leslie Caron), who is being groomed to become a courtesan.  Gaston falls in love with Gigi and receives advice from his uncle Honore Lachaille (Maurice Chevalier), who pursues women without emotional attachment or any intentions of marriage.  He says, "In Paris, those who will not marry are usually men, and those who do not marry are usually women."  At first Gaston thinks of Gigi as a potential mistress, but eventually they marry.

Gigi:     "Four yards of material in the skirt. Well, don't I look great ladyish?"
Gaston: "You look like an organ-grinder's monkey!"
Gigi:     "An organ-grinder's monkey?"
Gaston: "What happened to your little Scotch dress?  And that ridiculous collar!" Gigi:     "And what's wrong with that collar?"
Gaston: "It makes you look like a giraffe with a goiter."
Gigi:      "Gaston, I've never heard it said you had any taste in clothes."

GIGI is based on Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette's famous 1945 novella, and takes place in Paris, circa 1900. The movie is a sumptuous extravaganza, exquisitely filmed, with a perfect cast who give excellent performances. It has delightful sets and costumes and was one of the first MGM musicals to be filmed on location (in Paris) and is considered to be the last great MGM musical.

Alicia:  "Did you work hard in school today?  What did you study?"
Gigi:    "History.  Napoleon's defeat at Waterloo."
Alicia:  "How depressing.  What else?"
Gigi:    "English."
Alicia:  "English?  I suppose we must.  They refuse to learn French."

The cast also includes:  Eva Gabor (Liane d'Exelmans), Jacques Bergerac (Sandomir), Isabel Jeans (Aunt Alicia), John Abbott (Manuel), Maurice Marsac (Prince Berensky), Jean Ozenne (Monsieur Lachaille), Lydia Stevens (Simone), Edwin Jerome (Charles), Roger Saget (Pierre), and many others.  Frederick Loewe wrote the music.  Alan Jay Lerner wrote the screenplay and Vincente Minnelli directed.

The Lerner and Loewe songs are:  "Thank Heaven for Little Girls", "It's a Bore", "The Parisians", "Gossip", "Waltz at Maxim's (She Is Not Thinking of Me)", "The Night They Invented Champagne", "I Remember It Well", "Gaston's Soliloquy", "Gigi", "I'm Glad I'm Not Young Anymore", and "Say a Prayer for Me Tonight".  Lesle Caron's singing is dubbed in by Betty Wand, although "The Night They Invented Champagne" and "The Way You Look Tonight" are available on CD with Caron's singing.

This classic film is one of the best Hollywood musicals, a timeless cultural treasure, charming, memorable, with bright costumes and great atmosphere.  But it's a little over-long, talky, with a simple thin plot and there is no dancing or big production numbers.  It's unfair to judge a past era with our standards, however raising a little girl to be a courtesan is now politically incorrect.  "Paedophilia" and "child abuse" come to mind.   

GIGI was nominated for 9 Academy Awards and won all 9:  Best Picture, Best Director, Best Music (score), Best Music (song), Best Writing, Best Costume Design, Best Film Editing, Best Art Direction, and Best Cinematography.  Maurice Chevalier won a special Oscar.

GIGI (1948), the original version of Colette's story is not a musical, but an amusing comedy of manners.  Gigi/Gilberte (Danielle Delorme) is a young girl raised by her aunt and grandmother to be a demimondaine in Paris.  When she marries handsome and rich playboy Gaston Lachaille (Frank Villard), she reforms him.  The movie is overlong with good local colour, and a very good performance by Delorme.  Marcel Landowski wrote the music and Jacqueline Audry directed.

James A. Michener's book "Tales  of the South Pacific", based on his WWII tour of duty in the Pacific, was made into the 1949 Rodgers & Hammerstein stage musical.  Its success led to the making of the movie version of SOUTH PACIFIC.

Mitzi Gaynor stars as Ens. Nellie Forbush, an American nurse on a tropical island who falls in love with wealthy, suave French planter Emile de Becque, played by Rossano Brazzi, who becomes a war hero.  Their love scenes were considered shocking in the 1950's.  Emile says, "When all you care about is here, this is a good place to be."

It's 1943 and the film begins with a song and dance number by dozens of half-naked sailors who sing "There is nothin' like a Dame".  An ironic song choice considering all the muscular beefcake on display.  Lt. Buzz Adams says, "You gotta do something to break the monotony out here, Lieutenant.  You know, if this war ever really gets started..."

Bloody Mary:   (gives a shrunken head to Lt. Cable) "You like I give you, free!"
Luther Billis:    "Free?  You never gave me anything free!"
Bloody Mary:   "You no sexy like lieu-tellen."
Bloody Mary:   (she looks Cable up and down) "Lieu-tellen, you sexy man."
Lt. Cable:       "Thanks.  You're looking pretty... er, fit yourself."

(Lt. Cable has been told that Nellie is in love with Emile)
Lieutenant Cable:  "That's hard to believe, sir.  They tell me he's a middle-aged man."
Capt. Brackett:     "Cable, it is a common mistake for boys of your age and athletic ability to underestimate men who have reached their maturity.  Young women frequently find older men attractive, strange as it may seem.  I myself am over fifty.  I am a bachelor.  And Cable, I do not, by any means, consider myself through."
(to Harbison, who is trying not to laugh)
Capt. Brackett:     "What's the matter, Bill?"
Cmdr. Harbison:    "Nothing--evidently! (laughs)

The cast also includes:  John Kerr (Lt. Joseph Cable), Ray Walston (Luther Billis), Juanita Hall (Bloody Mary), Russ Brown (Capt. George Bracket), Ken Clark (Stewpot), Floyd Simmons (Cmdr. Bill Harbison), Candace Lee (Ngana), Warren Hsieh (Jerome), Tom Laughlin (Lt. Buzz Adams), Francis Kahele (Henry), Richard H. Cutting (Adm. Kester), Charles Carter (Barua), and many others.  Writing credits are James Michener, Oscar Hammerstein II, Joshua Logan, and Paul Osborn.  Original music is by Richard Rodgers.  Joshua Logan directed.

Other great songs include:  "Bali Ha'i", "I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Outa My Hair", "Younger Than Springtime", and "Some Enchanted Evening". Very few musicals have this many first-rate songs. The other songs are: "Bloody Mary", "A ****-Eyed Optimist", "Twin Soliloquies (Wonder How It Feels)", "Dites Moi", "A Wonderful Guy", "Happy Talk", "Honey Bun", "My Girl Back Home", "Carefully Taught", and "This Nearly Was Mine".  Rossano Brazzi's singing is dubbed in by opera star Giorgio Tozzi.  This was unneccesary, because even I can sing these simple songs just as well, and can do a decent impersonation of Giorgio Tozzi's version.

SOUTH PACIFIC was filmed mostly on location in Hawaii and another small, isolated island.  The scenery is absolutely gorgeous, almost like taking a tropical vacation.  This musical moves at a leisurely pace, the acting is solid, the music is wonderful, and it is great family entertainment.  There is a powerful theme of racial prejudice, no doubt because James Michener was married to an Asian and knew all about prejudice.

Unfortunately, the worst thing about this film is the experimental use of colour filters on the camera lens for dramatic emphasis during intense scenes.  The colour change is meant to represent the emotions of the actors. These colour filters cause people to turn purple and other horrid colours!  It is extremely distacting and annoying.  Do not adjust your TV.  I thought one of my tapes was defective, until I used a different TV and got better results.  The cinematography in SOUTH PACIFIC is breathtakingly beautiful and does not require artificial colour filters.

Director Joshua Logan said using the colour filters was the biggest mistake in his career.  I would say it was the biggest mistake in colour movie history.  Fortunately, Logan uses the filters rather sparingly in the film.

Doris Day, Audrey Hepburn, Liz Taylor, and Ginger Rogers were considered for Mitzi Gaynor's part.  A made-for-TV version of SOUTH PACIFIC was released in 2001 with Glenn Close and Harry Connick Jr.  It is considered superior to the original, but I have not watched it so I cannot comme

In 1938 Maria Rainer (Julie Andrews) is a free-spirited trainee nun who doesn't fit in at the Austrian convent.  She tells the Mother Abbess, "I can't seem to stop singing werever I am."  Maria is sent to work as a governess for a large family, Captain Georg Ritter von Trapp (Christopher Plummer) and his 7 children.  He runs his home like the ship he once commanded and his motherless children are hostile with Maria until she teaches them the joy of singing.

Trapp:  "The first rule of this household is discipline...You are the twelfth in a long line of governesses who have come here to look after my children since their mother died.  I trust you will be an improvement on the last one.  She stayed only two hours... It's the dress.  You'll have to put on another one before you meet the children."
Maria:   "But I don't have another one.  When we entered the abbey our worldly clothes were given to the poor."    
Trapp:  "What about this one?"
Maria:   "The poor didn't want this one."

(singing starts somewhere inside the house)
Trapp:  "What's that?"
Maria:  "It's singing."
Trapp:  "Yes, I realize it's singing, but who?"
Maria:  "The children."
Trapp:  "The children?"
Maria:  "I taught them something to sing for the Baroness."
Trapp:  "You brought music back into the house.  I had forgotten."

Although the captain is engaged to wealthy Baroness Elsa Schraeder (Eleanor Parker), he falls in love with Maria and they marry, singing "Something Good".  Elsa says, "There's nothing more irresistable to a man than a woman who's in love with him."  When the **** take power in Austria, Captain von Trapp refuses to serve the Third Reich, and the entire family hikes over the mountains to safety in Switzerland.  The von Trapps are last seen climbing the Austrian mountains to escape to Switzerland, where they can perform to the world.  A chorus sings the finale of "Climb Ev'ry Mountain."

Zeller:  "Perhaps those who would warn you that the Anschluss is coming - and it is coming, Captain - perhaps they would get further with you by setting their words to music."
Trapp:  "If the **** take over Austria, I have no doubt, Herr Zeller, that you will be the entire trumpet section."
Zeller:  "You flatter me, Captain."
Trapp:  "Oh, how clumsy of me - I meant to accuse you."
Zeller:  "I've not asked you where you and your family are going.  Nor have you asked me why I am here."
Trapp:  "Well, apparently, we're both suffering from a deplorable lack of curiosity."

**** guards surround the theatre during the Salzburg Folk Festival.  As a farewell song dedicated to his fellow Austrians, the Captain patriotically reprises the song "Edelweiss":
Trapp:  "My fellow Austrians, I shall not be seeing you again perhaps for a very long time.  I would like to sing for you now... a love song.  I know you share this love.  I pray that you will never let it die."

(the film's last lines)
Sister Margaretta: "Reverend Mother, I have sinned."
Sister Berthe:       "I, too, Reverend Mother."
Mother Abbess:     "What is this sin, my children?"
(the nuns look at each other, then reveal from under their robes the motor parts they removed from the ****' cars)

THE SOUND OF MUSIC is based on the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical, which is about the real-life singing von Trapp family who fled Austria to escape the **** just before WWII.  The musical is the final collaboration between composer Richard Rodgers and lyricist Oscar Hammerstein II, who died nine months after the premiere on November 16, 1959 at the Lunt-Fontanne Theatre.  The original Broadway production featured Mary Martin and Theodore Bikel.  It was the second longest running musical of the 1950's.

Both the stage musical and movie are excessively sugary.  The film version has drama, comedy, suspense, romance, and music.  Cinematography is magnificent, capturing the beautiful Salzburg location.  The cast is excellent, especially Julie Andrews who had just won an Oscar for MARY POPPINS (1964).  She is effervescent and sings marvelously.  Christopher Plummer's singing was dubbed in by Bill Lee.

The songs are:  "The Sound of Music", "Morning Hymn/Alleluia", "Maria", "I Have Confidence in Me", "Sixteen Going On Seventeen", "My Favorite Things", "Do-Re-Mi", "The Lonely Goatherd", "Edelweiss", "So Long, Farewell", "Climb Ev'ry Mountain", and "Something Good".

The cast also includes:   Richard Haydn (Max Detweiler), Peggy Wood (Mother Abbess), Anna Lee (Sister Margaretta), Portia Nelson (Sister Berthe), Ben Wright (Herr Zeller), Daniel Truhitte (Rolfe), Norma Varden (Frau Schmidt), Marni Nixon (Sister Sophia), Gilchrist Stuart (Franz), Evadne Baker (Sister Bernice), Doris Lloyd (Baroness Eberfeld), Charmian Carr (Liesl von Trapp), Nicholas Hammond (Friedrich von Trapp), Heather Menzies (Loisa von Trapp), Duane Chase (Kurt von Trapp), Angela Cartwright (Brigitta von Trapp), Debbie Turner (Marta von Trapp), Kym Karath (Gretl von Trapp), and many others.

Everything originated with the autobiographical book "The Story of the Trapp Family Singers" by Maria von Trapp.  Howard Lindsay and Russel Crouse wrote the musical book.  Ernest Lehman wrote the screenplay.  Cinematography is by Ted D. McCord and Robert Wise directed.

SOUND OF MUSIC won five Academy Awards:  Best Picture, Best Director, Best Musical Score, Best Adaptation, and Best Editing.  Adjusting for inflation, the movie made well over $900 million, and it saved 20th Century Fox from bankruptcy caused by CLEOPATRA (1963).  The RCA soundtrack album sold over 11 million copies.  Mary Martin, the Broadway Maria and co-producer of the movie made $8 million.  Julie Andrews earned just $225,000.

The movie is overlong at 174 minutes, and is usually cut to 145 minutes for TV broadcasts.  Co-star Christopher Plummer disliked the film and called it "The Sound Of Mucus".  And because it was then the largest grossing picture of all time, film critic Pauline Kael called it "The Sound Of Money".  Then there's "The Sound of Muzak".  THE SOUND OF MUSIC is a classic film with excellent music.    

AMADEUS is not a biography of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.  It is a speculative and haunting story of Antonio Salieri (F. Murray Abraham), a mediocre second-rate composer who was jealous of Mozart.  Some historians think Salieri possibly killed Mozart.  The first lines in the film are from Salieri:  "Mozart!  Mozart, forgive your assassin.  I confess.  I killed you."

The movie starts in 1823 with Salieri as an elderly man in a lunatic asylum for attempting suicide.  Father Vogler (Richard Frank) visits him and Salieri tells him his life story, beginning in Vienna 30 years earlier.  Salieri is court composer of  Emperor Joseph II (Jeffrey Jones).  He is successful, popular, dedicated to God, and anxious to meet Mozart (Tom Hulce).  Salieri says, "He was my idol.  Mozart, I can't think of a time when I didn't know his name."

Mozart is a shocking disappointment to Salieri.  The musical prodigy is immature, clownish, vulgar, and boorish.  Salieri is envious and perplexed because Mozart can create musical masterpieces without even trying, while he can never rise above mediocrity.  He feels betrayed by God, and says, "All I ever wanted was to sing to God.  He gave me that desire, like a lust in my body, but then denied me the talent.  Why?"

Mozart:  "Why must I submit samples of my work to some stupid committee just to teach a thirteen-year-old girl?"
Strack:  "Because His Majesty wishes it."
Mozart:  "Is the emperor angry with me?"
Strack:  "Quite the contrary."
Mozart:  "Then why doesn't he simply appoint me to the post?"
Strack:  "Mozart, you are not the only composer in Vienna."
Mozart:  "No.  But I'm the best!"
 
Mozart:  "Forgive me, Majesty.  I am a vulgar man.  But I assure you, my music is not."
Emperor: "My dear young man, don't take it too hard.  Your work is ingenious.  It's quality work.  And there are simply too many notes, that's all.  Just cut a few and it will be perfect."
Mozart:  "Which few did you have in mind, Majesty?"

Salieri pretends to be Mozart's friend and ally, but actually does everything possible to destroy his reputation and success.  This despicable duplicity goes unnoticed by Mozart, whose initial social and financial triumph at court takes a nose dive.  Although his musical compositions are flawless, Mozart's marriage, health, reputation and finances are serious problems.

Salieri:  "That was Mozart.  That!  That giggling dirty-minded creature I had just seen, crawling on the floor... Through my influence, I saw to it that Don Giovanni was played only five times in Vienna.  But in secret, I went to every one of those five.  Worshipping sounds I alone seemed to hear."

Mozart:  "It's unbelievable, the director has actually torn up a huge section of my music.  They say I have to rewrite the opera.  But it's perfect as it is!  I can't rewrite what's perfect."  (addressing the complaints about the "improper" libretto for "Figaro")  "Come on now, be honest!  Which one of you wouldn't rather listen to his hairdresser than Hercules?  Or Horatius, or Orpheus... people so lofty they sound as if they s**t marble!"

Mozart:  (about the royal composer's position he did not get) "Whom did they choose?"
Salieri:   "Herr Zummer."
Mozart:  "Herr Zummer?  But the man's a fool, he's a total mediocrity!"
Salieri:   "No, no, he has yet to achieve mediocrity."
Mozart:  "I actually threw the score on the fire, he made me so angry."
Salieri:   "You burned the score?"
Mozart:  "No, no.  My wife took it out in time."
Salieri:   "You don't mean to tell me that you're living in poverty?"
Mozart:  "No.  But I'm broke."

For revenge, Salieri tricks Mozart into composing a Requiem, a task that leads to a nervous breakdown and alcoholism.  Salieri plans to kill Mozart, play the Requiem at his funeral, and take credit for the writing.  Mozart's friend Emanuel Schikaneder (Simon Callow) convinces him to write an opera "for the people".  He composes "Die Zauberflote", which  is a big success, but Mozart collapses from exhaustion at the opening performance.

Salieri: "The only thing that worried me was the actual killing.  How does one do that? Hmmm?  How does one kill a man? It's one thing to dream about it; very different when, when you, when you have to do it with your own hands... My plan was so simple.  It terrified me.  First I must get the death mass and then, I must achieve his death."

Salieri takes Mozart home and forces him to continue work on the Requiem.  It becomes apparent when Salieri attempts to help him that he is pathetically inferior.  In the morning Mozart's wife Constanze (Elizabeth Berridge) returns, evicts Salieri, and locks the unfinished Requiem away.  She goes to Mozart's bedside, but he is dead at age 35.  One of our very greatest musical composers is dumped in an unmarked mass grave without a coffin.

The flashback ends and the film returns to Salieri in the asylum.  He tells the priest that God killed Mozart rather than let him steal his music.  Salieri claims to be the patron Saint of all mediocrities, and as he is wheeled away says to the many lunatics, "Mediocrities everywhere, I absolve you, I absolve you, I absolve you, I absolve all of you."

AMADEUS is a brilliant meditation on the nature of genius.  It is a lavish and opulent production that is intelligent, literate, witty, exciting, and entertaining.  Acting performances are superb.  The beautiful detailed period sets and billowy costumes enhance the soaring score of Mozart's magnificent music.

This film was shot on location in Prague and Vienna by cinematographer Miroslav Ondricek.  AMADEUS was nominated for 11 Academy Awards and won 8 Oscars:  Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Director, Best Art Direction, Best Costume Design, Best Makeup, Best Sound, and Best Screenplay.    
 
The movie soundtrack includes:  "Symphony 25 in G Minor", "Stabat Mater, Quando Corpus Morietur and Amen", "Bubak and Hungaricus", "Serenade for Winds", "Abduction from the Seraglio", "Symphony 29 in A", Concerto for 2 Pianos", "Mass in C minor", "Symphonie Concertante", "Piano Concerto in E flat", "The Marriage of Figaro", "Don Giovanni", "Zaide", "Requium; Dies Irae", "Requium; Rex Tremendae Majestatis", "Requium; Confutatis", "Requium; Lacrymosa", and "Piano Concerto in D minor".

The cast also includes:   Roy Dotrice (Leopold Mozart), Christine Ebersole (Katerina Cavalieri), Charles Kay (Count Orsini-Rosenberg), Kenneth McMillan (Michael Schlumberg), Lisabeth Bartlett (Papagena), Barbara Bryne (Frau Weber), Roderick Cook (Count Von Strack), Milan Demanjanenko (Karl Mozart), Peter DiGesu (Francesco Salieri), Patrick Hines (Kappelmeister Bonno), Nicholas Kepros (Archbishop Colloredo), Jonathan Moore (Baron Van Swieten), Cynthia Nixon (Lorl), Douglas Seale (Count Arco), Cassie Stuart (Gertrude Schlumberg), Rita Zohar (Frau Schlumberg), Karel Gult (Count Almaviva), Magda Celakovska  (Cherubino), Eva Senkova (Marcellina), Leos Kratochvil (Basilio), Gino Zeman (Don Curzio), Janoslav Mikulin (Dr. Bartolo), Ladslav Kretschmer (Antonio), Karel Fiala (Don Giovanni), Zdenek Jelen (Leporello), Vladimir Svitacek (Pope Kliment), and many others.

AMADEUS is based on the 1979 stage play by Peter Shaffer, inspired by Alexander Pushkin's short play "Mozart and Salieri".  Peter Shaffer wrote the movie script and Milos Forman directed.

Lone Wolf Sullivan's

QUOTES FROM THE BEST SONGWRITERS

Irving Berlin: "Listen kid, take my advice, never hate a song that has sold half a million copies."

George Gershwin: "Out of my entire annual output of songs, perhaps two, or at the most three, came as a result of inspiration.  We can never rely on inspiration.  When we most want it, it does not come."

Cole Porter: "My sole inspiration is a telephone call from a director."

Richard Rodgers: "It took about as long to compose it as to play it." (said about "Oh, What a Beautiful Morning", the opening song in "Oklahoma!")

Oscar Hammerstein II: "I hand him a lyric and get out of his way."

Stephen Sondheim: "Clever rhyming is easy, anybody can do it...Oscar Hammerstein II taught me that a song should be like a little one-act play, with an exposition, a development and a conclusion; at the end of the song the character should have moved to a different position...Cole Porter wrote a valid but entirely different kind of song, in which you take a particular idea and play with it and develop it in terms of cleverness, wit, intellectual or romantic intensity...The fact is popular art dates. It grows quaint. How many people feel strongly about Gilbert and Sullivan today compared to those who felt strongly in 1890?"

Jule Styne:  "I thought he might hit me over the head, knowing that he wanted to do the whole show.  He was young, ambitious, and a huge talent.  But he was also very gentle, and we got along fine." (On meeting Stephen Sondheim while working on "Gypsy")

Kurt Weill:  "I have never acknowledged the difference between serious music and light music. There is only good music and bad music."
 
Andrew Lloyd Webber:  "I think it's probably, musically, probably the most sophisticated.  ("The Woman in White")  There's a lot more daring harmony in it than in some of my pieces...If you know what you want to do, as I always loved musicals, and then to have been lucky enough to be successful with them, I think that's all you can ask, isn't it?...Sondheim is absolutely wonderful and Alan Jay Lerner was wonderful."

Alan Jay Lerner:  "You write a hit the same way you write a flop.”

Frederick Loewe:  "It won't be long before we'll be writing together again.  I just hope they have a decent piano up there.”

Burt Bacharach: "Music breeds its own inspiration. You can only do it by doing it. You may not feel like it, but you push yourself. It's a work process. Or just improvise. Something will come."

Hal David: "I tended not to be concerned about whether a song was going to be a hit when I wrote it. Because it became evident that none of us knew what was a hit and what wasn't. So I thought if I just write what I like, why shouldn't people like what I like?"

Leonard Cohen: "I wish I were one of those people who wrote songs quickly. But I'm not. So it takes me a great deal of time to find out what the song is. I am working most of the time."

Neil Diamond: "Performing is the easiest part of what I do, and songwriting is the hardest...Songwriting is different from music, although I don't deny now that it would be nice to have a little more background in music theory."

Hank Williams: "If a song can't be written in 20 minutes, it ain't worth writing."

Donovan: "With songwriting, it all comes out in one flash. Then you work it, then you craft it."

Joan Baez: "It seems to me that those songs that have been any good, I have nothing much to do with the writing of them.  The words have just crawled down my sleeve and come out on the page...People don't want to hear anything that they don't want to hear...You have to package it in a certain way so that it can break through the wall people put up."

Willie Dixon: "People have been brainwashed into believing that it's got to be down or it wouldn't be blues. But it's not so. It's got to be a fact or it wouldn't be blues."

Dolly Parton: "Bob Dylan, Neil Young, Merle Haggard, Hank Williams...all of them are different styles, but those are the songs that make the times...they're the songs that last through time."

Johnny Cash: "I start a lot more songs than I finish, because I realize when I get into them, they're no good. I don't throw them away, I just put them away, store them, get them out of sight...When I record somebody else's song, I have to make it my own or it doesn't feel right. I'll say to myself, I wrote this and he doesn't know it."

Kris Kristofferson: "Johnny Cash's face belongs on Mount Rushmore...I don't write as much as I did back when I was writing songs every day.  I've come to know when I've got a good one, although sometimes it takes the world awhile to catch up with me...If you're in it because you love it and you have to do it, that's the right reason. If you're in it because you want to get rich or famous, don't do it."

Sheryl Crow:  "A song that sounds simple is just not that easy to write. One of the objectives of this record was to try and write melodies that continue to resonate...Everything that happens to you influences your writing...The writing process for me is pretty much always the same--it's a solitary experience...I have yet to write that one song that defines my career...Beck said he didn't believe in the theory of a song coming through you as if you were an open vessel. I agree with him to a certain extent."
 
Ray Davies: "I think that songwriting changed when groups started spending more time in the studio...I've written so many songs about Englishmen, I have to go elsewhere."

Stevie Nicks: "It was my 16th birthday--my mom and dad gave me my Goya classical guitar that day. I sat down, wrote this song, and I just knew that that was the only thing I could ever really do--write songs and sing them to people."

Lou Reed: "You can't ask me to explain the lyrics because I won't do it...I always believed that I have something important to say and I said it."

Ozzy Osbourne: "I didn't think anything we did was spectacular. I remember we thought, 'Let's just write some scary music.'"

Joe Strummer:  "I have a weird life because I live on songwriting royalties, which are a strange income. Sometimes it rains, sometimes it doesn't."

Warren Zevon: "But there's a thin line between songwriting and arranging."

Valerie Simpson:  “When we came up with something, we always thought we could make more money out of it with someone else--so we never cut it ourselves!”

Paul Anka:  "I had this talent for these stupid little teenage songs.  I just couldn't get anyone to sing my songs, so I had to sing my own tunes."
 
Smokey Robinson: "I always try to write a song, I never just want to write a record. Originally I was not writing songs for myself. Songwriting is my gift from God."

Mark Knopfler:  Each song has its own secret that's different from another song, and each has its own life. Sometimes it has to be teased out, whereas other times it might come fast. There are no laws about songwriting or producing. It depends on what you're doing, not just who you're doing."

Lamont Dozier: "I don't think about commercial concerns when I first come up with something. When I sit down at the piano, I try to come up with something that moves me."

Kate Bush:  "When I'm writing I've been playing something for a couple of hours and I'm almost in a trance. At two or three in the morning you can actually see bits of inspiration floating about and grab them...I think probably the only thing that is around in these songs is that I was really lonely when I wrote a lot of them. But it was really by my own choosing because I was devoting myself to songwriting and dancing and I wasn't really going out and seeing people."

John Lennon: "Even in the early days, we used to write things separately, because Paul was always more advanced than I was. His dad played the piano. Usually, one of us wrote most of the song and the other just helped finish it off, adding a bit of tune or a bit of lyric..."Please Please Me" is my song completely. It was my attempt at writing a Roy Orbison song, would you believe it? I heard Roy Orbison doing "Only The Lonely" or something. That's where that came from. And also I was always intrigued by the words of "Please Lend Your Ears To My Pleas", a Bing Crosby song. I was always intrigued by the double use of the word "please"...I'd spent five hours that morning trying to write a song that was meaningful and good, and I finally gave up and lay down. Then, "Nowhere Man" came, words and music, the whole damn thing, as I lay down...Songwriting is about getting the demon out of me. It's like being possessed. You try to go to sleep, but the song won't let you. So you have to get up and make it into something, and then you're allowed sleep. "

Paul McCartney: "Somebody said to me, But the Beatles were anti-materialistic. That's a huge myth. John and I literally used to sit down and say, Now, let's write a swimming pool...I think people who create and write, it actually does flow--just flows from into their head, into their hand, and they write it down. It's simple...Lyricists play with words...George wrote "Taxman", and I played guitar on it. He wrote it in anger at finding out what the taxman did. He had never known before then what could happen to your money."

George Harrison: "We worked the medley on side two of "Abbey Road" out carefully in advance. All of those mini songs were partly completed tunes; some were written while we were in India a year before. So there was just a bit of chorus here and a verse there.  We welded them all together into a routine."

Buffy Sainte-Marie:  "As a teenager I started painting and playing guitar...Music has been my playmate, my lover, and my crying towel...This song ("Until It's Time for You To Go") popped into my head while I was falling in love with someone I knew couldn't stay with me.  The words are about honesty and freedom inside the heart."

Michael Jackson:  "“I wake up from dreams and go, "Wow, put this down on paper."  The whole thing is strange. You hear the words, everything is right there in front of your face.”

David Bowie:  "Strangely, some songs you really don't want to write...Frankly, I mean, sometimes the interpretations I've seen on some of the songs that I've written are a lot more interesting than the input that I put in."

Stevie Wonder:   “I really do seek to create music that is timeless, ... Each project takes on its own life, and the songs from "A Time To Love" are the most appropriate for the statement I wanted to make...The most important thing is, when I do give the music, I'm satisfied with it, that it speaks for what I want to do...It is a different kind of lyric; it's very picturesque. I can see everything that I'm writing, I can visualize all those things happening.”

Henry Mancini:  "Decide what kind of piece you're going to write...slow, fast, minor, major, moody, happy..."

Johnny Mercer:  "I could eat alphabet soup and s**t better lyrics."

Janis Ian: "I write a lot from instinct. But as you're writing out of instinct, once you reach a certain level as a songwriter, the craft is always there talking to you in the back of your head...that tells you when it's time to go to the chorus, when it's time to rhyme. Real basic craft... it's second nature."

Freddie Mercury:  "People are always asking me what my lyrics mean.  Does it mean this, does it mean that, that's all anybody wants to know.  F**k them, darling.  I say what any decent poet would say if you dared ask him to analyze his work:  If you see it, dear, then it's there."

Robin Gibb: "The Bee Gees were always heavily influenced by black music. As a songwriter, it's never been difficult to pick up on the changing styles of music out there, and soul has always been my favourite genre."

Michael Hutchence:  "What we try to do with all of our albums, is live out our musical fantasies in the most honest fashion we know how...We want to include songs that lyrically cover subjects ranging from the heaviest things we’ve ever done to light-hearted experiences that can best be presented through sentimental bluesy ballads that are usually good for a chuckle or two."

James Brown: "I've outdone anyone you can name: Mozart, Beethoven, Bach, Strauss. Irving Berlin, he wrote 1,001 tunes. I wrote 5,500."

Phil Collins:  "You know, a song is like a kid. You bring it up. And sometimes something you thought was going to be fantastic, by the time it's finished, is a bit of a disappointment...Beyond a certain point, the music isn't mine anymore. It's yours."

Geddy Lee: That is what intrigues me: songwriting and song structure and expression."

John Denver:   "We must begin to make what I call "conscious choices", and to really recognize that we are all the same.  It's from that place in my heart that I write my songs."

Laura Nyro: "There are no limitations with a song. To me a song is a little piece of art. It can be whatever you like it to be. You can write the simplest song, and that's lovely, or you can just write a song that is abstract art."

Jackson Browne: "It's not like I'm looking to describe something that's only true of my own circumstances. It's beyond. It's way inside, you know. It's reaching inside to something that you have in common with many."

Van Morrison:  "I write songs.  Then I record them. And later, maybe I perform them on stage.  That's what I do. That's my job.  Simple.  I don't feel comfortable doing interviews.  My profession is music, and writing songs.  I like to do it, but I hate to talk about it...Music is spiritual. The music business is not.  Being famous was extremely disappointing for me.  When I became famous it was a complete drag and it is still a complete drag.”

Billy Joel: "I consider myself to be an inept pianist, a bad singer, and a merely competent songwriter."

Randy Newman: "If getting on the radio was a major motivation, I'd be one of the worst writers of all time. I admire people who do it, and I think it's a nice way to work, but I try to do the best I can and write what I like. I don't worry about it."

Harry Nilsson: "It happens so quickly it seems like it's coming from somewhere else. It's not. It just means that you're in sync with yourself. And whatever your goal is, in terms of hearing a melody or a lyric, the closer you get to it, the faster it comes out and the easier it is to "spit it out", as it were."

Deborah Harry:  "I really, really like writing songs.  Capote wrote every day.  He said that's the only way, you have to sit down every day and do it...Something what's written out is okay, but it's not always a clear indication of what a person means."
 
Little Richard: "I was washing dishes at the Greyhound bus station at the time and I said, 'Awap bop a lup bop a wap bam boom, take 'em out!'"

Bernie Taupin:  "'Captain Fantastic' was the first album in history to enter the (American) album chart at number one.  We did it for a second time after that.  Now that's not a boast, that's frightening...The process of doing it was unique because I wrote the songs in the order they were recorded, so it was written like a story."

Elton John:   "It turned out so well because it was the first album that I could identify with in terms of lyrics.  ("Captain Fantastic")  It was passionate...I could associate myself with every song...It's a unique album in our history.  This was the story of us..."Curtains", the lyrics to that are so beautiful because it sums up our friendship so much, and our relationship."

Moby:  "It just seems like musicians want to sell a few records and put out a perfume line, and I think it's so sad that there are so many musicians who don't want to change the world."

Tom Petty: "You're dealing in magic--it's this intangible thing that has to happen.  And to seek it out too much might not be a good idea.  Because, you know, it's very shy, too.  But once you've got the essence of them, you can work songs and improve them.  You see if there's a better word, or a better change."

David Byrne: "Often I don't know what the song means until it's finished.  Sometimes months later.  I don't think that's bad. It implies that I don't know what I'm doing but--I think if you're able to follow your instincts, then that's knowing what you're doing."

Jimmy Buffet:  "You know, as a writer, I'm more of a listener than a writer, cuz if I hear something I will write it down.  And you find as a writer there are certain spots on the planet where you write better than others, and I believe in that. And New Orleans is one of them."
 
Angus Young:  "I'm sick to death of people saying we've made 11 albums that sound exactly the same.  In fact, we've made 12 albums that sound exactly the same."
 
Barry Manilow:  "I am nervous that the craft of songwriting is taking a nose dive...And since I‘m a songwriter and I connect with an interpretative, you know, interpretation of a song, I miss it.  I just miss it."

Carly Simon: "Sometimes my boyfriend would write the lyrics and I would write the melody, and other times I would start from scratch. Or sometimes I would take a local poem and put that to music...I've gone through the village of my songwriting and my artistry, and I've gone through lots of different phases, including one where it has been very quiet and abandoned me for a few years...I always sang standards because the songs I wrote for myself weren't as easy to sing."

Pete Seeger: "I write a song because I want to. I think the moment you start writing it to make money, you're starting to kill yourself artistically."

Robbie Robertson: "It would be nice to abandon the verse-chorus-bridge structure completely, and make it so none of these things are definable...Make up new names for them. Instead of a bridge, you can call it a highway, or an overpass...Music should never be harmless."

Sammy Cahn: "I don't write songs, songs write me."

Jimmy Page: "My vocation is more in composition really than anything else--building up harmonies using the guitar, orchestrating the guitar like an army, a guitar army."

Robert Plant: "The essence of my lyrics is the desire for peace and harmony.  That's all anyone has ever wanted.  How could it become outdated?...We are trying to communicate a fulfilled ideal...I am a reflection of what I sing. Sometimes I have to get serious because the things I've been through are serious...The way I see it, rock n' roll is folk music."

Paul Simon: "It's very helpful to start with something that's true. If you start with something that's false, you're always covering your tracks. Something simple and true, that has a lot of possibilities, is a nice way to begin."

Melissa Manchester: "Everybody wants to write a hit song, but in Nashville people want to write the best song, which was my original intention as a singer/songwriter."

James Taylor: "I started being a songwriter pretending I could do it, and it turned out I could...To be a musician, especially a singer/songwriter--well, you don't do that if you have a thriving social life. You do it because there's an element of alienation in your life...I wish I could say, 'Oh, that would be great to write a song about.' But what I'm doing is assembling and minimally directing what is sort of unconsciously coming out. It's not something I can direct or control. I just end up being the first person to hear these songs. That's what it feels like...that I don't feel as though I write them. Then there's a phase when you button it up and finish it. But it all starts with a lightning strike. A melody will suggest itself in the context of whatever I'm playing, and then the cadence will suggest words. And those words don't come from a conscious place. I typically will work on a lyric in a three-ring binder. On the right side, I'll write the lyric, and on the left side, I put in alternate things."

Tracy Chapman: "Songwriting is a very mysterious process. It feels like creating something from nothing. It's something I don't feel like I really control."

Peter Townshend: "What I took back, because of my exposure to the Jewish music of the 30s and the 40s in my upbringing with my father, was that kind of theatrical songwriting. It was always a part of my character. This desire to make people laugh...Songwriting is best. It's the hardest--finest--tightest. It also requires the most discipline."

Todd Rundgren: "I don't have the same restrictions that other people do because I never painted myself into a corner. I've always done things that didn't necessarily fit the form. I've never felt limited in that respect in terms of songwriting."

Linda Ronstadt:  "I can draw with sound. That's the most useful thing I learned in terms of what my craft is...The arrangements were mine.  They were little lines and stuff that I had written myself...And I was locked into this idea that vocals didn't count, melodies didn't count, songwriting craftsmanship didn't count. The only thing that counted was high arching guitar solos."

Brian Setzer:  "The songwriting has never really stepped forward from the '50's."

Rod Stewart: "What I do now is all my dad's fault, because he bought me a guitar as a boy, for no apparent reason...I wrote some of my best love songs ever when I was unhappy and my saddest love songs when I was very much in love. When I wrote You’re in My Heart, which is an uplifting song, I had just broken up with…Now who had I broken up with?”

John Fogerty: "For years I walked around with the phrase "Green River" because I had seen that on a soda fountain drink when I was probably 8 or 9 years old, and I went, 'Gee, I like that.' Another one was "Lodi", which I thought sounded really cool. I got this cheap little empty plastic notebook at my local drugstore, and bought a little slab of filler paper and the very first title I wrote in it was "Proud Mary".  I had no idea what that title meant."

Brian Wilson: "The idea of taking a song, envisioning the overall sound in my head and then bringing the arrangement to life in the studio...well, that gives me satisfaction like nothing else...My state of being has been elevated, because I've been exercising, writing songs...No masterpiece ever came overnight. A person's masterpiece is something that you nurture along."

Cab Calloway: "You don't think it was because a white man wrote it, a black man wrote it, a green man wrote it. What--doesn't make a difference!"

Carole King: "I'm a songwriter first...In my career I have never felt that my being a woman was an obstacle or an advantage. I guess I've been oblivious...Sensitive, humbug. Everybody thinks I'm sensitive...There is a downside to having one of the biggest-selling albums ever."

Bob Marley: "One good thing about music, when it hits--you feel no pain...My music fights against the system that teaches to live and die."

Ann Wilson: "All the songs that were written for that album are just all our first sophomore songs. So they're all from real life. Very sweet and very innocent."

Willie Nelson: "I like myself better when I'm writing regularly...I was influenced a lot by those around me--there was a lot of singing that went on in the cotton fields."

Prince: "I try not to repeat myself. It's the hardest thing in the world to do--there are only so many notes one human being can master...One of the reasons we’re going out on the road and why we’re titling this tour as "Musicology" is because we want to bring that back.  We want to teach the kids and musicians of the future the art of songwriting, the art of real musicianship.”

John Prine:  “I just tried to come up with some honest songs. What I was writing about was real plain stuff that I wasn't sure was going to be interesting to other people.  But I guess it was...I've never had any discipline whatsoever. I just wait on a song like I was waiting for lightning to strike. And eventually--usually sometime around 3 in the morning--I'll have a good idea.  By the time the sun comes up, hopefully, I'll have a decent song.”

Ian Anderson: "Martin, Dave, and I get together and rough out a few songs and put them on cassettes for some reference...With the actual music, I'm not interested in objectivity, quite the opposite.   I want a solely and totally subjective experience...A lot of pop music is about stealing pocket money from children."

Neil Young: "I don't force it. If you don't have an idea and you don't hear anything going over and over in your head, don't sit down and try to write a song. You know, go mow the lawn...My songs speak for themselves."

Eddie Van Halen: "Everything comes to me while I'm sitting on the pot (toilet)...David Lee Roth had the idea that if you covered a successful song, you were half way home. C'mon--Van Halen doing "Dancing in the Streets"? It was stupid. I started feeling like I would rather bomb playing my own songs than be successful playing someone else's music."

Boudleaux Bryant:  "As far as my creative urge is concerned, I do sit down and write my own music...I'll tell you a writer who I think is a genius:  Ray Stevens.  He comes up with some of the most fantastic novelty ideas.  Dolly Parton also writes well.  I like a lot of songs, a lot of writers."

Felice Bryant:  "The only style God has blessed us with is what people seem to like...It doesn't bother me if a song doesn't get recorded, because I feel somebody down the road, maybe not even born yet, has his name on it."

Janis Joplin: "I always wanted to be an artist, whatever that was, like other chicks want to be stewardesses...Being an intellectual creates a lot of questions and no answers. You can fill your life up with ideas and still go home lonely. All you really have that really matters are feelings. That's what music is to me."

Chrissie Hynde:  "I've done lots of songs for film soundtracks and things like that--stuff I'm not ashamed of, but that doesn't represent my legacy with the Pretenders...I think domesticity certainly doesn't make it easy to write, you know, because you've got a lot of distractions and I think a writer is always looking for distractions."
 
Beck: "Originally, the lyrics to "Girl" were really upbeat, and then it didn't work for me somehow. You need the dichotomy. If you're doing something happy and light, you need the shadows."

Grace Slick: "Through literacy you can begin to see the universe. Through music you can reach anybody. Between the two there is you, unstoppable...(on "White Rabbit") I have lived her (Alice's) story, and I admired it as a little girl...I believe the White Rabbit represents her curiosity.  She has no idea how that chase is going to turn out. I admire that--when people have the guts to follow their hearts, their curiosity."
 
Ric Ocasek: "I could never be a country person, sitting around trees trying to write a song. I would rather be in the middle of society, whether it's growing or crumbling."

Steve Earle: "Townes van Zandt is the best songwriter in the whole world and I'll stand on Bob Dylan's coffee table in my cowboy boots and say that."

Townes Van Zandt: "I don't think you can ever do your best. Doing your best is a process of trying to do your best."

Loretta Lynn: "I don't know what it's like for a book writer or a doctor or a teacher as they work to get established in their jobs. But for a singer, you've got to continue to grow or else you're just like last night's cornbread--stale and dry."

Syd Barrett: "I was sleeping in the woods one night after a gig we'd played somewhere, when I saw this girl appear before me. That girl was Emily." (on how he wrote "See Emily Play") "Chapter 24"--that was from the "I Ching", there was someone around who was very into that, most of the words came straight off that. "Lucifer Sam" was another one--it didn't mean much to me at the time, but then three or four months later it came to mean a lot."

Mariah Carey: "A lot of people are singing about how screwed up the world is, and I don't think that everybody wants to hear about that all the time."

Jimmy Webb: "I usually know what kind of song I'm after. I know what I'm trying to do when I start. I don't always get there. But I try to visualize what it's actually going to be."

Lenny Kravitz: "I never sit down to write. When I'm moved, I do it. I just wait for it to come. You just hear it. I can't really describe writing. It's in my head. I don't think about the styles. I write whatever comes out and I use whatever kind of instrumentation works for those songs...A lot of people don't listen to the lyrics, really. A lot of people pretty much only listen to the chorus."

Kid Rock: "I've just really been into melody and lyrics and songwriting.  Writing a rap, to me, is easy.  I could write a rap like that.  But writing songs and melodies and s**t that's hopefully going to stick around for 30, 40 years is f**king hard...If you have good songs and you're talented, people will eventually come to your shows, people will buy your music."

Axl Rose:  "I write the vocals last, because I wanted to invent the music first and push the music to the level that I had to compete against it."

Sly Stone: "My only weapon is my pen, I'm a songwriter."

Joni Mitchell: "You could write a song about some kind of emotional problem you are having, but it would not be a good song, in my eyes, until it went through a period of sensitivity to a moment of clarity. Without that moment of clarity to contribute to the song, it's just complaining...I can't remember anything I ever wrote...Not to dismiss Gershwin, but Gershwin is the chip; Ellington was the block."

Duke Ellington: "If anybody was Mr. Jazz it was Louis Armstrong. He was the epitome of jazz and always will be. He is what I call an American standard, an American original."

Jerry Leiber: "We didn't write songs, we wrote records."

Mike Stoller: "But if you can't, can't put the words immediately, why stay around? I have a jaundiced view of bands that can't really write but sing. We didn't write everything we produced, whoever the artist was we always went for the best song and we would bring in other writers like Doc Pomus and go for the very best songs we could get."

Doc Pomus: "I didn't want to be the crippled songwriter or the crippled singer. I wanted to be the singer or the songwriter who was crippled.  I wanted to be larger than life and a man among men."

Patti Smith:  "If I have any regrets, I could say that I'm sorry I wasn't a better writer or a better singer...When I was younger, I felt it was my duty to wake people up. I thought poetry was asleep. I thought rock 'n' roll was asleep...An artist may have burdens the ordinary citizen doesn't know, but the ordinary citizen has burdens that many artists never even touch."

Boz Scaggs: "My songwriting and my style became more complex as I listened, learned, borrowed and stole and put my music together."

Arlo Guthrie:  "We would turn everything into songs in those days...A lot of people think "Alice's Restaurant" was an anti-war song.  It's not.  It's an anti-idiot song,”

Otis Blackwell: "I'd hate to be a songwriter starting a career today...Al Stanton walked in one day and said, 'Otis, I've got an idea. Why don't you write a song called "All Shook Up"?' Two days later I brought the song in and said, 'Look, man, I did something with it.'"

Cynthia Weil: "It was kind of like songwriter's boot camp. You had to produce. You had to produce fast. You had to learn...The business today is completely different and it's very producer driven, so that a songwriter needs to have producing chops, be a singer/songwriter, or find a singer to develop."

Barry Mann: "Probably most successful songwriters have an innate songwriting ability."

Jimmy Cliff: "It was the vehicle that propelled me to international stardom.  ("Harder They Come")  I was known as a singer/songwriter before that, but people did not know me as an actor. It showed the world where the music I contributed to create was coming from. It opened the gates for Jamaican music, internationally."

Peter Tosh: "I don't have to say I'm going to make a song.  A song is always there.  I just have to open my mouth and a song comes out."

Emmylou Harris: "I was the audience he wanted to reach.  Gram Parsons' writing brought his own personal generations' poetry and vision into the very traditional format of country music, and he came up with something completely different."

Gordon Lightfoot: "'If You Could Read My Mind' was written during the collapse of my marriage. It's a great song. No one has any gripes about it. I wondered what my wife and daughter might think.  My daughter is the one who got me to correct 'The feelings that you lacked' to 'The feelings that we lacked'."

John Mellencamp: "It's my responsibility as a singer/songwriter to report the news."

Jorma Kaukonen: "I was writing a lot of true love songs--true love almost gone wrong but saved at the last moment...Many of the best songs get written in a state of abject misery. I prefer to write fewer songs and have less cataclysmic events in my life...Some hit songs are really stupid, and who knows why they're hits. But a lot of hit songs are really good."

Bjork: "I love being a very personal singer/songwriter, but I also like being a scientist or explorer"

David Crosby:  "My songs emerge unbidden and unplanned and completely on a schedule of their own...We have, all of us, over the years, written things that responded to the world as it slapped us in the face. Me and Nash, singing "To the Last Whale" and "Find the Cost of Freedom".  Stills coming up with "For What It's Worth". These came right out of the news.  People have accused us of taking stances and the truth is we don't."

Billy Idol: "Rock isn't art, it's the way ordinary people talk."

Frank Zappa: "All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff...Basically what people want to hear is: I love you, you love me, the leaves turn brown, they fell off the trees, the wind is blowing, it got cold, you went away, my heart broke, you came back, and my heart was okay...Modern music is people who can't think signing artists who can't write songs to make records for people who can't hear.  Most people wouldn't know good music if it came up and bit them on the a**...If lyrics make people do things, how come we don't love each other?"

Johnny Rotten: "I don't listen to music, I hate all music...You'll find that empty vessels make the most sound."

Bono: "I have never tried to write this thing called a song that's played on radios all around the world, that window-cleaners hum, that people listen to in traffic jams. I was never interested in song: U2 came about through a sound."

Sting: "Songwriting is a kind of therapy for both the writer and the listener if you choose to use it that way. When you see that stuff help other people that's great and wonderful confirmation that you're doing the right thing."

Bruce Springsteen: "I didn't know if it would be a successful one, or what the stages would be, but I always saw myself as a lifetime musician and songwriter...I was always concerned with writing to my age at a particular moment. That was the way I would keep faith with the audience that supported me as I went along...I'm a synthesist. I'm always making music. And I make a lot of different kinds of music all the time. Some of it gets finished and some of it doesn't...The best music is essentially there to provide you something to face the world with."

Elvis Costello: "You have to face the fact that I have no reputation as a composer; I have my reputation as a songwriter and a performer."

Annie Lennox:  "I knew that I wanted to be a singer/songwriter when I was much younger and, um, I've been able to, you know, to realize that dream and I'm very pleased with that...I want to branch out. I want to write. I write poetry...Music is an extraordinary vehicle for expressing emotion--very powerful emotions."

Jim Morrison: "Listen, real poetry doesn't say anything; it just ticks off the possibilities. Opens all doors. You can walk through any one that suits you...I believe in a long, prolonged, derangement of the senses in order to obtain the unknown...I like any reaction I can get with my music. Just anything to get people to think."

Mick Jagger: "A lot of times songs are very much of a moment, that you just encapsulate. They come to you, you write them, you feel good that day, or bad that day."

Keith Richards: "I don't think rock n' roll songwriters should worry about art. I don't think it comes into it...as far as I'm concerned, Art is just short for Arthur..."... I don't like to go into the studio with all the songs worked out and planned before hand...you've got to give the band something to use its imagination on as well."

Ron Wood: "There's a basic rule which runs through all kinds of music, kind of an unwritten rule. I don't know what it is. But I've got it."

Billy Gibbons: "My discussion with Keith Richards about the creative process led me to believe that there's an invisible presence of a stream of ever-flowing creativity that we overhear--all you have to do is pull up the antenna and dial it in. This presence allows you to maintain your sense of origin and move forward."

Jimi Hendrix: "Imagination is the key to my lyrics. The rest is painted with a little science fiction...All I'm writing is just what I feel, that's all. I just keep it almost naked. And probably the words are so bland...I just hate to be in one corner. I hate to be put as only a guitar player, or either only as a songwriter, or only as a tap dancer. I like to move around...Music doesn't lie. If there is something to be changed in this world, then it can only happen through music."

Eric Clapton:  "The writing of the song is the therapy.  The toughness is doing nothing.  It's very dependent on your state of mind. And your emotional state as well. And a lot of it comes pouring out, you don't really have that much control with it.  I've felt that the only way to survive was with dignity, pride and courage."

Bob Dylan: "My best songs were written very quickly. Just about as much time as it takes to write it down is about as long as it takes to write it...In writing songs I've learned as much from Cezanne as I have from Woody Guthrie...It's not me, it's the songs.  I'm just the postman, I deliver the songs...I consider myself a poet first and a musician second.  I live like a poet and I'll die like a poet."

Chuck Berry: "For many years I've been reluctant to make new songs. There has been a great laziness in my soul...All those m- words and f- words, don't blame me for that. I'd rather hear Tommy Dorsey or Artie Shaw any day...Look, I ain't no big s**t, all right? My music, it is very simple stuff. I told you all this before. I wanted to play blues. But I wasn't blue enough. I wasn't like Muddy Waters...I was in Australia, and I found out they wouldn't even let a black man become a citizen there. That's why I wrote that song. You know 'Back in the USA,' don't you?"